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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #134

Thunderbolts #134

Since leaving the Thunderbolts, Abner Jenkins (Mach-IV) and Norbert Ebersol (the Fixer) have been working out of a Comission on Superhuman Activities (CSA) facility in Portland, Oregon.[1] They are hard at work on a new suit of Mach-IV armor when they suddenly pick up a blip on the radar and scrub their current test on the new flight suit. That’s when their old teammate, Songbird (Melissa Gold), comes crashing in.

Meanwhile, at the Thunderbolts headquarters called the Cube, the Headsman (Cleavon Twain) interrupts Mister X, their newest recruit to talk him up. He is curious to know where X learned his martial arts skills. X explains he has been training to fight his entire life and has incorporated moves from every Earthly martial art as well as fighting techniques of the Kree and Shi’ar.

When Cleavon says that he learned to brawl in bar fights, being part of a biker gang and from his brother. X is intrigued and asks to spar. Twain is reluctant, which pleases Mister X, as he should be rightfully feared. X then promises to fight with both of his hands behind his back. Cleavon thinks this is bull until X starts insulting him and his brother. This riles Cleavon up enough that he comes at Mister X in anger. However, even with his arms behind his back, Mister X is able to knock the Headsman down twice. On the second knock down, X places his foot on Twain’s windpipe and applies enough pressure to start suffocating him. That’s when the Black Widow appears on a holographic projection and orders X to stop. She knows exactly what X was tying to do and reminds him that he is on a team. More importantly, they have a new mission and they are to suit up and report to the Thunderstrike at once. X thought they still had some downtime before their next mission, but the Widow tells them they have a new one, and it is to kill a Thunderbolts.[2] As X turns to leave, the Headsman gets up and tries throwing a knife at his back. However, thanks to his low level telepathy, Mister X is able to detect the coming attack and catches the knife in mid-air without even looking. Impressed by the knife and suspecting it has sentimental value, X offers to give it back to Clevon. Twain wisely doesn’t even try. X is amused and promises to give it back to him, likely when he least expects it.[3]

Back in Portland, Songbird tells Abe and Norbert about how she is on the run from Norman Osborn and asks for their help in taking him down.[4] However, she is only getting their support as she doesn’t need them quite yet. The two old friends agree to help out in any way possible. When Melissa asks for intel on their former comrade Chen Lu (the Radioactive Man), she is told that the Chinese government has put him on loan to the North Korean government. Mel thanks Abner and Norbert for their support and, before leaving, kisses Abe goodbye before taking off. Watching her go, Norbert jokes that the kiss was a long time coming.[5]

By this time, the Thunderstrike is over Oregon airspace, able to speak freely the Black Widow gets in touch with her real boss, Nick Fury. She tells him that the Thunderbolts have been deployed to eliminate Songbird. Fury orders her to save Melissa Gold even at the risk of blowing her cover as he intends on extracting her anyway. He then asks about the status of the rest of the team and how easily it will be to flip them. The Widow believes that Scourge is the only loyal operative, while Paladin is only loyal to whoever he is paying him, the rest of the group on the other hand are all lone wolves looking out for themselves. She then ends the call to Fury as Norman Osborn begins calling her. Norman tells her that Scourge will be taking point on this mission. The Black Widow protests this, but Osborn wants her to remain on the Thunderstrike to monitor communications so they can learn if Gold is in contact with anybody. This annoys the Widow but she complies with the order.

The Thunderstrike manages to catch up with Songbird and the Black Widow begins firing missiles at her. Melissa is able to dodge them initially, but its getting harder to do. She then takes a risk by using a solid sound construct to redirect a missile back at the ship. Unfortunately, the resulting explosion not only shoots down the Thunderstrike, but knocks Songbird out of the sky. As the Thunderstrike crashes, the Black Widow ejects and lands in the vicinity of Songbird. The spy is then able to get the drop on her, however the Black Widow explains that she has come to rescue Mel, not kill her. When Songbird doesn’t believe her, the Widow then injects herself in the neck with something that causes her to change back to her true form. As it turns out, the Black Widow wasn’t Yelena Belova, but her predecessor Natasha Romanov in disguise!

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Black Widow, Scourge, Headsman, Mister X, Ant-Man, Ghost, Paladin), Norman Osborn, Songbird, Fixer, Mach-IV, Nick Fury

Continuity Notes

  1. Mach-IV and Fixer left the Thunderbolts in issue #109 to work as independent operatives under the command of Dallas Riordan.

  2. The Black Widow is referring to Songbird had been a Thunderbolt since the very beginning. After Norman Osborn took control of the team in Thunderbolts #110, she frequently sparred against him. She started getting her way after obtaining material to blackmail him in issue #121. However, after the Skrull invasion, this could no longer protect her and she was forced to flee the Thunderbolts to save her own life and has been a fugitive ever since. She has been in hiding ever since after the Swordsman helped her fake her death. See Thunderbolts #126-127.

  3. Mister X will not get the chance to play out this threat, as the Headsman will get shot in the head by Scourge in Thunderbolts #140.

  4. Abner mentions how Osborn has his own team of Avengers, he formed this group in Dark Avengers #1.

  5. Melissa and Abner had been in a long running relationship that dated back to Thunderbolts #3. The two eventually drifted apart by New Thunderbolts #1. It was a whole complicated situation at that point with betrayals and secret agendas but suffice to say the two parted as friends in Thunderbolts #109.

Topical References

  • The Headsman compares Mister X’s martial arts skills to actor Bruce Lee, who was a legendary master of many various martial arts. He appeared in many kung fu epics until he death in 1973. This could be considered a topical reference as there are more contemporary martial artists that could be use in his place. On the other hand, Lee’s legacy is historic so you could argue that it can still be used here. YMMV.

  • When Abner deduces that Songbird is reforming the old Thunderbolts he compares her the Blues Brothers putting the band back together (a reference she doesn’t get). He is referencing a famous line to the 1980 film The Blues Brothers. It starred comedians John Belush and Dan Acaroid reprising the roles of characters they popularized on the sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live. It also spawned a too-little-too-late and less remembered sequel Blues Brothers 2000. This is another reference that could be considered topical or not depending on your point of view as The Blues Brothers is an iconic film and is considered a comedy classic.

Translations

The Black Widow when responding to Norman Osborn mutters “POSHEL TY, PSIKH...” which means “FUCK YOU, PSYCHO” in Russian.

Thunderbolts #133

Thunderbolts #133

Thunderbolts #135

Thunderbolts #135