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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #37

Thunderbolts #37

The Bug Bites Back!

Now

Wearing a thin micro-circuit stealth suit, Moonstone (Karla Sofen) sneaks into Seagate Prison. She knocks out a guard monitoring the security and hacks into the computer systems. This allows her to let her two compatriots — Hawkeye (Cline Barton) and another — access into the prison through the ventilation shaft. Using cloaking devices, the trio sneak their way down to the server room where they override some of the data on the servers. When they retreat back to the mainland, Atlas (Erik Josten) is waiting for them. Moonstone reports their mission was a success, but Hawkeye didn’t like what they just did. Their third companion insists that it was necessary…..

Earlier

The Thunderbolts — Hawkeye, Moonstone, Atlas, and Charcoal (Charlie Burlingham) — had just defeated the new Beetle in battle. However, when they removed the helmet from his armor they discovered that it was a remotely piloted suit with nobody inside.[1] Not only are the Thunderbolts shocked by this revelation, so are the Beetle’s handlers at the Commission on Superhuman Affairs who have been watching remotely. Henry Gyrich is furious that a wanted felon managed to escape and this confirms that they can’t be trusted. Val Cooper is left wondering if her colleague means Abner Jenkins, or superhumans in general. While at the scene, Songbird is devastated and wonders where her lover is, as she hasn’t heard from him in months. Hawkeye promises Melissa that they’ll get to the bottom of this, but suggests they return to the base before the authorities and the media show up.

At their headquarters on Mount Chateris, Techno detects his former teammates returning and changes back into his disguise of the Ogre, the Thunderbolt’s technician.[2] When the team enters his lab he reports that the authorities have relocated the Beetle armor to the local station. He believes that whoever was piloting the Beetle was controlling the suit remotely. Melissa has gotten even more hysterical about finding Abe. Watching from the sidelines, Charcoal wishes that the team would be that focused finding the person who killed their teammate Jolt.[3] When he mentions this, Melissa retorts that Abe is still alive and needs their help now. Charlie then points out the obvious given the circumstances. When everyone considers what went down at the battle at Justin Hammer’s place, it seems pretty clear that whoever is behind this new Beetle is looking for plausible deniability for their true motives.

That’s when Moonstone and Atlas call in from the field. Of Hammer’s goons, they were able to capture Blizzard who agreed to talk after taking a bit of a pounding. He was recently sprung from Seagate and was a prisoner with Abe. He says that Jenkins foiled a riot and that it was all covered up so the only people who knew about it was the CSA. Moonstone also explains that Hammer has his own informant within the prison and that’s how he found out. This is the final piece of the puzzle they needed. Clint figures the CSA will likely send people out to collect the Beetle’s armor. Hawkeye’s hunch proves correct as Henry Gyrich and Val Cooper are at the Burton Canyon police station to recover the suit. However, when they do, it reactivates and flies off before they can stop it.[4]

A few hours later, Moonstone and Atlas have returned to base and everyone is comparing notes. They learn that Justin Hammer’s inside man was the telepathic villain known as Mentallo. Hawkeye theorizes that the CSA must have discovered this and the plans to steal the Omega 32 compound. Unable to set up a legal sting with Roxxon, the agency must have recruited Abner to become the “new” Beetle and steal the sample in an effort to gain Hammer’s trust and shut down his operation from the inside. Atlas figures that Abe must have gone AWOL knowing that the CSA would never fulfill their side of the bargain because it would be political suicide if the news ever got out. That’s when the “Ogre” interrupts saying that they got a call from someone they’re going to want to hear. To everyone’s surprise, the caller turns out to be Abe himself. This is what led the heroes to break into Seagate Prison…..

Now

Hawkeye still feels bad about the break in because they had broken the law. However, Moonstone points out that the CSA did as well. That’s when Moonstone and Charcoal arrive, prompting their third associate — Abe Jenkins himself — to finally pull off his mask. He and Melissa then kiss for the first time since he surrendered himself to prison. Although Abe is reunited with his friends, Hawkeye says there are a few more loose ends to tie up.

Meanwhile, Dallas Riordan sits alone in a hotel room in Paris, France. She thinks about her old life as a liaison for the New York City Mayor’s office to the Thunderbolts. She feels all alone now, more alone than she ever has before.[5]

Elsewhere, a plane from the United States lands at an airfield somewhere in South America. On board is a man with an American passport. When he goes through customs he tells officials that he is in the country to visit an old friend. He explains the strange items in his bag are for his friend, who is a collector of dolls and tiny figurines. The collections agent accepts this and soon sends him on his way and hopes his friend enjoys the toys that have been brough. The man figures his “friend” will be very surprised.[6]

By this time the moon has risen over Mount Charteris, and with the Thunderbolts gone, Techno can drop his disguise for a while. However, he knows that the team will be back soon and he is annoyed that he’ll have to go back to posing as the Ogre again. That’s when one of the labs in his alarm begins going off. This is warning him of activity from the three stasis chambers in a hidden part of the lab. When he goes to check, he discovers energy building up in one of the chambers. Checking out the readings, Techno is surprised to see that it is now reading life signs once more.[7]

Meanwhile, Hawkeye stops Henry Gyrich as he is returning to CSA headquarters in the Rockies. There he reveals that he knows everything about the CSA’s attempts to force Abner to do their dirty work and threatens to leak it if Gyrich doesn’t agree to let Abe free. They hacked the computers at Seagate to make it appear that Abe was shuffled off and lost in the system and he intends to make it stay that way, saying that Jenkins will serve out the rest of his sentence helping people with the Thunderbolts. Realizing he has no other choice, Gyrich grudgingly accepts this deal and then demands to have the Beetle armor back. Clint assures Henry that he’ll get his toy back once it completes on last job.

Moments later, the Beetle armor is remotely piloted back to Justin Hammer’s hideout where it repeats the phrase “a gift for Justin Hammer” over and over until security lets it through. Hammer foolishly thinks the suit has come to offer some token to make up for wrecking his base. Once the suit confirms Justin’s voice print, it fires coils from its fringers which restrain Hammer. It then flies back across the boarder and delivers Hammer to Gyrich. Justin Hammer assures him that his lawyers will have him free in no time. While Henry believes it, he intends to make his time in custody very uncomfortable in the meantime.

Back at the Thunderbolts headquarters, Hawkeye calls the team for a meeting to welcome Abe back in the ranks. However, Jenkins has developed a new suit of armor and now calls himself Mach-2. As Clint tells the others that Abe has undergone facial reconstruction similar to the ones the Thunderbolts originally underwent when they first started their careers, Abe removes his helmet, revealing that he is now appears African-American![8]

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Hawkeye, Moonstone, Atlas, Songbird, Mach-2, Charcoal, “Ogre”), Henry Gyrich, Val Cooper, Justin Hammer, V-Battalion (Citizen V, Fred Davis), Ogre, Jolt, Humus Sapien

Continuity Notes

  1. The situation with the Beetle is quite complicated.

    • Abe Jenkins had reinvented himself as a hero known as Mach-1 in Thunderbolts #1 and had been trying to redeem himself for his criminal past. After Hawkeye joined the team in issue #21, he convinced Abe to surrender to the authorities for a past murder conviction.

    • Jenkins did just that in Thunderbolts #23. The murder in question was committed back when he was still the Beetle in Deadly Foes of Spider-Man #3.

    • While in prison, Jenkins was recruited by Henry Gyrich and Val Cooper of the Commission on Superhuman Activities in Thunderbolts #26. His first mission was to try and take down Justin Hammer from the inside. Part of this plan involved the Beetle stealing Omega 32, a compound that Hammer was seeking to illegally obtain from the Roxxon energy company. See the issues 33 and 34 for all the deets.

    • The Thunderbolts had just defeated him last issue.

  2. The narration here gives a Coles Notes version of how Techno came to be posing as the Ogre:

    • It explains how he was a founding member of the Thunderbolts (Thunderbolts #1) and that the team’s original goal was to only pose as heroes to take over the world.

    • The real Techno had his neck snapped in Thunderbolts #7, his mind was copied to a robotic body in the following issue. However, this is not the real Techno, just a copy of his mind. The real deal will be restored to life in issue #49.

    • When the Thunderbolt’s true purpose was exposed in Thunderbolts #10-12, Techno fled with Baron Zemo while the rest of the team remained together, choosing to legitimately reform. Techno remained by Zemo’s side until Captain America Annual 1998. He took the Ogre’s place in Thunderbolts #32.

  3. Jolt was seemingly killed by an assassin’s bullet back in issue #33. However, Jolt isn’t truly dead, and will be brought back to life again in Thunderbolts #46.

  4. Val Cooper mentions her and Henry’s credentials:

    • She mentions how Gyrich was once the government liaison to the Avengers. Gyrich held that roll from Avengers #165 until he was replaced in issue #243 of that series.

    • Val mentions how she used to work with X-Factor. This would be the government sponsored version of the mutant team which operated from X-Factor #71 through 149.

  5. Dallas’ situation is complicated and readers at the time had some information gaps as to what her actual situation was. The details:

    • Dallas Riordan became a liaison to the Thunderbolts back in issue #2 when they were still only posing as heroes as part of one of Baron Zemo’s world domination plots.

    • After the Thunderbolts were exposed in Thunderbolts #10-12, she quickly found herself out of a job. Since Thunderbolts #16, she has been operating as the new Citizen V until she had a falling out with the V-Battallion in issue #35.

    • However, at this time, readers only knew that Dallas was supposedly the Crimson Cowl per Thunderbolts #25 and that the V-Battallion busted her out of jail in issue #27. That she has been Citizen V this whole time won’t be confirmed until next issue.

    • The Crimson Cowl reveal was a misdirect to throw off readers. In Thunderbolts #40 that the real Crimson Cowl — Justine Hammer — swapped places with Citizen V during the battle in issue #25, hence why Dallas was unmasked as the villain in that story.

  6. The identity of this man is not revealed here and his face is always depicted looking away from the reader. Next issue, we’ll discover that this is the new Scourge of the Underworld and that he is seeking out Baron Zemo.

    • With the identity of this new scourge, this is planting the seeds of another misdirect, tricking readers into thinking that this James Barnes, the original Bucky. At the time of this story, Barnes was believed to have died in Avengers #4 at the hands of Baron Zemo’s father. However, it will late be revealed that James survived and has been operating for decades as the Russian assassin known as Winter Soldier, as we’ll learn in Captain America (vol. 5) #14.

    • In reality, this is Jack Monroe, the Bucky of the 1950s as will be revealed in Thunderbolts #49. Jack had a previous tangle with Zemo, as documented in Captain America #293-300.

  7. The individuals in stasis are the real Ogre (placed there in Thunderbolts #32), Jolt (as revealed in Thunderbolts #46) and the mutant known as Humus Sapiens (as will be revealed in Thunderbolts #55).

  8. When Baron Zemo recruited the Masters of Evil to become the Thunderbolts, he had Techno reconstruct everyone’s faces so they looked different enough to not be tied to their criminal pasts by appearances alone. See Thunderbolts #1 and Annual 1997. Abner’s change in appearance will remain the status quo until Avengers/Thunderbolts #1

Topical References

  • The scene in the police station involves a bit of comedic banter that references a number of TV shows that involve law enforcement and some of the actors who appeared in them. These should all be considered topical references as they can be replaced with temporary examples. These references are:

    • The X-Files and it’s star David Duchovny. This was a sci-fi drama about FBI agents Fox Mulder (Duchovny) and Dana Scully (played by Gillian Anderson) and their investigations into the paranormal. The series ran from 1993 to 2003 and experience a brief revival between 2016-2018.

    • NYPD Blue and its star Jimmy Smits. This was a police procedural drama that took place (as you might guess) in New York City. Smits played the role of Detective Bobby Simone on the series. It ran from 1993 to 2005.

    • Silver Spoons: which was an sitcom that aired for two seasons from 1986 through 1987. The connection here is that actor Ricky Schroder was a main cast member on both NYPD Blue and Silver Spoons.

  • When Jolt’s body begins reading life signs again, Techno resists the urge to start screaming “It’s Alive!” This is a reference to the 1931 film adaptation of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein. In this version, when Doctor Victor Frankenstein (played by Colin Cove) brings his monster (Boris Karloff) he begins chanting “It’s alive!” This would not be considered a topical movie since it is regarded as a classic. The scene has been referenced so many times it is perma-locked in the cultural Zeitgeist.

Thunderbolts #36

Thunderbolts #36

Thunderbolts Annual 2000

Thunderbolts Annual 2000