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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #60

Thunderbolts #60

Brave New World?

Elsewhere….

After defeating Graviton, the Thunderbolts — Moonstone (Karla Sofen), Fixer (Norbert Ebersol), Mach-3 (Abner Jenkins), Atlas (the combined Dallas Riordan/Erik Josten), and Jolt (Hallie Takahama) — have found themselves transported to points unknown.[1] The Fixer is the first to wake up and finds a gun pointed to his face by someone who appears to be the original Baron (Heinrich) Zemo. He is surrounded by other superhumans. Zemo refers to his group as the Thunderbolts and demands to know what these American superhumans are doing in German territory and threatens to kill them all.

As the others wake up, Fixer uses his tech pack to burrow weapons in the ground that suddenly pop up and surround Zemo and his group. When Karla questions what’s going on, Fixer — speaking in code to the others — explains how they are some how in the former USSR and that they have been confronted by these other Thunderbolts. He also makes a point to refer to Karla by her real name, pointing her attention to one of Zemo’s minions who looks an awful lot like Lloyd Bloch, the original Moonstone.[2]

Zemo accuses them of trying to undermine the authority of his World Party and steal control of the Soviet oil fields. Karla points out that perhaps there is dissention in the ranks. This angers Iron Cross, the armored member of Zemo’s Thunderbolts. Zemo turns to Iron Cross — whom he refers to as Helmut — and slaps him and orders him to be silent. Karla then suggests that they are merely seeking to forge an alliance with Zemo’s team. This appeals to the Baron, who excuses that the intruders might not be aware of who his Thunderbolts are due to the lack of global communication. He then introduces the rest of his team: The man who resembles the original Moonstone is called the Phantom Eagle, they are also introduced to the mutant known as Solarr, France’s energy based superhero called Chain Lightning, and an American cyborg inventor known as Makeshift. Karla and her team make up a story about being sent out to make sure that Zemo and his team were doing their jobs and with that “task” complete, she asks him to spare her team so they can return home, saying she has no desire to make him their enemy.

Zemo is pleased with the show of respect and allows Moonstone and her Thunderbolts to leave with their lives. As they leave, it becomes apparent to the group that they must be in some alternate timeline or reality. The team also takes this time to make sense of the situation with Atlas, learning that Dallas Riordan and Erik Josten have merged into a singular being.[3][4] Using his new armor, Mach-3 is able to locate a nearby town and suggests that they go there to resupply and figure out where they are and what happened to Citizen V, who was with them during the final battle with Graviton and is now absent.[4] As they head in that direction, nobody notices the digital image of Baron Zemo’s mask on one of the displays on Fixer’s tech-pack.[5]

Earth - Symkaria

The V-Battalion have returned home to Castle Masada where they run a full medical scan on Citizen V (John Watkins III). The Penance Council determine that the alien mind that was controlling John this whole time is now gone. While Watkins is in good cheer, V-Battalion leader Roger Aubrey is concerned about the fact that his body was possessed by the mind of Baron Helmut Zemo, who had unfettered access to all of their secrets.[7] John figures that the mind of Zemo perished along with the rest of the Thunderbolts. He also tells Roger to look on the bright side, if Zemo hadn’t used his bio-modem to cheat death, John would still be in a coma. Roger then asks John if he wishes to help them find another dead man.[8]

Meanwhile, just outside of Pittsburgh, Hawkeye (Clint Barton) is on the run with the criminals Headlok (possessed by the mind of Mentallo, aka Marvin Flumm), Plantman (Samuel Smithers), and Cottonmouth. They have stolen a van and stopped to get supplies. When the store clerk notices the mantacles that Clint and Cottonmouth are wearing, Hawkeye tries to convince the cashier that they are part of a reality TV series. However, when Cottonmouth flashes a smile — showing off his cybernetically augmented teeth — Clint rushes outside and tells the others they should get a move on as their cover was likely blown. Cottonmouth muses that the feds will likely be more focused on them, pointing to a newspaper headline that shows that they were previously busy with Graviton. He mocks Clint, since the story mentions that the Thunderbolts — a team Hawkeye used to lead — were seemingly killed in the final battle.[9] Clint bites his tongue for a moment and tells them they need to get moving as Justin Hammer has eight facilities between Ohio and Vancouver that they need to search.[10] However, before they can leave, an armored Guardsman arrives and orders them to surrender. The crooks in the van all turn to Hawkeye for guidance on what to do next.

Elsewhere…

The Thunderbolts have landed in the nearby city and gotten clothes to disguise themselves as ordinary people. They are surprised to see money just drifting uselessly in the wind. Abner finds it surreal as he wouldn’t have known what to do with so much money. However, here, due to whatever crisis that happened, money has lost all its value and is virtually useless. The town is in total chaos with violence and looting around every corner. They also see the people living in hunger and poverty. It’s hard for the more altruistic Thunderbolts to observe, especially Dallas — now confined to a wheelchair without her powers on — because she used to be a police officer.[11] When they suggest doing something, Karla pulls rank, telling the others their their primary objective is find a way to return home.

That’s when they see a mob of people swarming a long person. Hallie can’t just stand by and watch a man get beat to death. She changes into Jolt and stops the crowd. By that point, Norbert manages to get his translator working so they can understand Russian. Jolt is able to convince the mob to disburse. Norbert explains to the others that they attacked the man because he was hoarding food, he also notes that the mob wondered if Jolt was part of the Young Allies.

Suddenly, Hallie realizes where they are because she has met the Young Allies recently.[12] She tells them that they must be on Counter-Earth, a duplicate planet on the opposite side of the sun. She explains that it was created by Franklin Richards — the son of the Fantastic Four’s Mister Fantastic and Invisible Woman — to save the heroes who believed to have perished during the final battle against Onslaught. In reality, they were transported to this world where they lived for some time before being returned to their proper reality. However, in the absence of the Fantastic Four and Avengers, Counter-Earth fell victim to cosmic forces that caused massive disasters that destabilized the entire world. Worse, the planet had recently been conquered by Doctor Doom.[13]

Jolt tells the others that this must be fate, that they are supposed to remain here and save the world abandoned by its heroes.[14] However, Fixer manages to pull up a TV signal from Germany and shows the others that they will be launching a rocket into space. He suggests that they hijack it and use it to return to their proper world, however this will mean drifting in space for about six months as they wait for their Earth to orbit near them. Abner tells the others that they can do whatever they want, he’s going to Germany and getting on that rocket, even if he has to do it alone. As he walks off the rest of the team follows behind Jenkins in silence, leaving only Fixer being. As he contemplates his next move, he is shocked when his tech-pack begins acting on its own. A voice coming from it tells Norbert that he will get on that rocket as well, but not before helping him get a new body. The Fixer is shocked when his tech-pack forms a massive screen that shows him that it is somehow in the possession of Helmut Zemo!

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Moonstone, Mach-3, Atlas (Josten/Riordan), Fixer/Baron Zemo, Jolt), Hawkeye, Plantman, Cottonmouth, Headlok/Mentallo, Thunderbolts (of Counter-Earth: Baron Zemo, Iron Cross, Phantom Eagle, Chain Lightning, Solarr, Makeshift), Guardsmen, V-Battalion (Citizen V, Andrea Sterman, Elizabeth Barstow, Roger Aubrey)

Continuity Notes

  1. The team was whisked away after shutting down Graviton’s gravitational portal in Thunderbolts #58.

  2. On Earth-616, Lloyd Bloch was the original Moonstone, as seen in Captain America #169. He had his Moon Stone stolen by Karla, who succeeded him as the new Moonstone in Incredible Hulk #228.

  3. Prior to this story, Atlas’ powers reached critical mass and he was seemingly killed in an explosion, as seen in Thunderbolts #48. He cheated death due to his love of Dallas Riordan which anchored him into the world of the living. Their mutual feelings for one another led to their becoming merged together in Thunderbolts #56.

  4. Jolt and Mach-3 hope that Charcoal (Charlie Burlingame) can pull himself back together just like Atlas did. Charcoal was ripped to shreds by Graviton in Thunderbolts #56. However, time of this writing (September, 2023) he is still considered among the deceased.

  5. Indeed Citizen V led the charge against Graviton in issues #56-57, but he was teleported away at the last minute by the V-Battalion while the rest of the Thunderbolts were dumped off wherever they happen to be (I’ll explain in a sec, hold your horses).

  6. This is the mind of Helmut Zemo who — at the time of this story — was believed to have died via decapitation in Thunderbolts #39. In reality, his mind was downloaded into the body of Citizen V in issue #45, something we didn’t learn until Citizen V and the V-Battalion #3. Zemo’s mind was downloaded into Fixer’s tech pack when Citizen V was teleported away in issue #57. This will all be explained next issue.

  7. Roger Aubrey refers to Helmut’s father, Heinrich, as the V-Battalion’s vilest foe. This is because Heinrich murdered the original Citizen V, John Watkins the 1st, during World War II. This was revealed in Thunderbolts #-1.

  8. If you’re thinking that this “bio-modem” thing was brought up out of nowhere, bzzt, wrong! The Thunderbolts pilfered this device back in Spider-Man Team-Up #7. This also teases the then upcoming limited series Citizen V and the V-Battalion: The Everlasting #1-4,

  9. Hawkeye joined up and led the Thunderbolts in Thunderbolts #21. In issue #50, Clint convinced the Commission on Superhuman Activities to give the group Presidential pardons for their past crimes. However, this came at a cost that the Thunderbolts disband and Hawkeye spend time in prison for crimes he committed while leading the group. The team remained apart until they were reformed in issue #56, as you already well know by now.

  10. While in prison, Hawkeye was contacted by Mentallo who convinced him to break out of jail in order to find the lost treasures of the late Justin Hammer. What nobody knows is that Clint agreed to do this as part of a covert SHIELD mission. See Thunderbolts #51, 52, and Life Sentences #1. Justin Hammer, FYI, had just recently died as seen in Iron Man: Bad Blood #4.

  11. We learned that Dallas used to be a cop back in Thunderbolts #42.

  12. Jolt previously met the Young Allies back in Thunderbolts #51-52.

  13. The whole Counter-Earth thing is kind of a lot, let’s break it down:

    • The Avengers and the Fantastic Four were all seemingly killed in the final battle with Onslaught. However, they were actually transported to a pocket dimension created by Franklin Richards, as seen in Onslaught: Marvel Universe #1.

    • There they lived re-imagined versions of their lives, as seen in the second volumes of the Fantastic Four, Iron Man, Captain America, and the Avengers. Ultimately, they were discovered and returned to their proper realities in Heroes Reborn: The Return #1-4.

    • Since then, Counter-Earth became the plaything of the Dreaming Celestial, throwing the planet into total chaos until it was conquered by Doctor Doom, as seen in Heroes Reborn: Doomsday, Ashema, Masters of Evil, Rebel, Remnants, Young Allies, and Doom one-shots. During the final conflict with the Dreaming Celestial, Doom pulled Counter-Earth out of its pocket dimension and placed it on an opposite orbit from the real Earth.

  14. Jolt reminds the team that they were originally villains who posed as heroes in the wake of Onslaught. Indeed, the original Thunderbolts were all former members of the Masters of Evil. Zemo had formed them to pose as heroes as part of a complex scheme to take over the world, as seen in the first 12 issues of this series. After being outed, the team decided to remain together and redeem themselves as heroes.

Topical References

  • Counter-Earth’s Russia is referred to as the Soviet Union, or USSR in this story. While a reference like this is usually considered topical, in this case I don’t think it would be the case. That is because the Thunderbolts acknowledge the fact that — on their world, and in real life — the USSR had dissolved some time ago. One could assume that the reason why Counter-Earth has a USSR is due to the manipulations of the Dreaming Celestial.

  • When come to terms with the fact that they are in some kind of alternate reality, Jolt compares their situation to the TV series Star Trek. This is a popular science fiction franchise that has had numerous episodes about alternate timelines and realities. She quips about this trope happening “every three weeks”, this is in reference to Star Trek: Voyager (1995-2001) which had just recently concluded its broadcast run around the time this comic was published. The series featured the crew of the eponymous starship Voyager as it was stranded in a previously unexplored sector of the universe. One of the primary criticisms of the show was that, for a show with this premise, it spent many of its episodes doing time travel and parallel universe stories, rather than exploring new concepts and plot devices. In fact, Voyager had something like 11 time travel episodes during its seven year run, the most of any series at the time. At any rate, this should be considered a topical reference as a more contemporary example could be used in its place.

  • Jolt states that the Avengers and Fantastic Four spent a year on Counter-Earth before returning home. This should be considered a topical reference as it denotes the passage of time between the publication of Onslaught: Marvel Universe #1 and Heroes Reborn: The Return #4, which were published a year apart. Referring to the Sliding Timescale, these stories happen in the “same year”, and modern readers should reinterpret the heroes time on Counter-Earth as taking place within the span of months instead of an entire year.

  • Alternatively, the Fixer states that Germany is launching the first rocket in two years. Assuming that the last rocket was launched during the Heroes Reborn event, then — per the Sliding Timescale — this would be a factual reference. This is due to the fact that the Heroes Reborn stories were all published in 1996-1997 during “Year Nine” of the Modern Age, while this issue (published March, 2002) is considered part of “Year Eleven”.

  • Fixer quips that he has an XBox built into his tech-pack. This is in reference to Microsoft’s first console system. Released in 2001 it was at the height of its popularity when this comic was originally published. This should be considered a topical reference as the system was discontinued in 2006 and a more contemporary gaming system could be referenced in its place.

Thunderbolts #59

Thunderbolts #59

Thunderbolts #61

Thunderbolts #61