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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #69

Thunderbolts #69

Becoming Heroes, Part 3: Green With Envy

The new Thunderbolts — Songbird (Melissa Gold), Harrier (Don Clendenon), Blackheath (Sam Smithers), Amazon (Katrina Von Horn), and Cyclone (Pierre Fresson) — have been defeated and captured by the Masters of Evil — Crimson Cowl (Justine Hammer), Machinesmith (Samuel Saxon), Hydro-Man (Morrie Bench), and Black Mamba (Tanya Sealy). The Crimson Cowl is pleased as they need to figure out how Blackheath’s powers activate the neuro-toxins that her late father, Justin Hammer, created to kill his enemies.[1]

However, Smithers body has become weak and enfeebled as he is undergoing some kind of metamorphosis. While the Crimson Cowl gloats over her victory and future plans, Smithers collapses and hits his head on the ground, knocking himself out. Little do they know that Sam’s consciousness has been contacted by “The Green”, the essence of all plant life on the Earth and it has begun showing him the truth. They reveal how Justin Hammer hired scientists to experiment on plants in order to create the bio-toxin that not only threatens the lives of every former villain in his employ, but everyone Hammer ever came into contact with. However, Hammer was never able to figure out a way to activate the toxins. All he knew was that Plantman somehow held the key. The Green shows him all of this, and it also shows him how to activate the bio-toxin. It also offers him a vision of a world where humanity and their destructive ways are removed from the Earth, leaving nothing but lush endless forests.

In the waking world, Machinesmith determines that Smithers is still alive. He and the Crimson Cowl then leave to experiment on him in the hopes of unlocking the secret of the bio-toxin, leaving Hydro-Man and Black Mamba to guard the Thunderbolts. Once the door to their cell is closed, Songbird sits up as the Thunderbolts were all playing possum and waiting for their moment to act. Melissa then begins freeing Amazon, who tells her that Skein (Sybil Dorvak), fled rather than being capture. She also wonders why they don’t just join Crimson Cowl as it would be easier than fighting against her. This causes Songbird to stop unlocking Katrina’s shackles to work on freeing the others from their restraints. When asked what happened to Hawkeye (Clint Barton), Harrier explains that he was forced to drop Clint in a river by the Machinesmith who then forced him to crash, knocking him out. When it comes to getting otu of their cell, Melissa reveals that she has regained some of her harmonic powers and uses them to knock out Hydro-Man and Black Mamba.[2]

In the nearby lab, Machinesmith has begun examining Blackheath and has determined that his body has been undergoing some kind of evolution. In fact, scans of his body shows that it is now mostly comprised of vegetable matter than flesh and blood. The Crimson Cowl is less interested in how this came to be and tells the Machinesmith to get to work unlocking the key to the bio-toxin.[3]

Meanwhile, Smithers continues to commune with the Green. It begins showing him his life and how he was orphaned as a child. Raised to be a gardener, he became obsessed with plants, learning everything he could about botany. He used this knowledge to grow plants to become the costumed villain known as Plantman. Seeing how he was defeated time and again by Earth’s heroes, he realizes now how stupid he was in the past and how he squandered his life. The Green then appears before him in one of his former costumes and asks him what he plans to do with the power that has been awoken within him. What choice will he take: activate the bio-toxin and wipe out the human race, or create a cure to save everyone and in doing so potentially dooming the Green to eventual destruction.[4] After a moments consideration, Smithers reaches out for one of the flowers that his double is holding out in each hand. The Green congratulates Sam for making his choice and sends him back to the waking world.

At that moment, Blackheath’s body suddenly splits open and begins spraying plant matter. The Machinesmith grabs the Crimson Cowl and pulls her safely back. He reports that this same phenomenon is happening to all the plants that are growing around Symkaria, releasing a massive plume of plant matter into the atmosphere, the pollen will negate all traces of the toxin all over the globe.

Suddenly, a torrent of water from Hydro-Man comes smashing through the door into the lab, with an unconscious Black Mamba riding the wave. That’s when the Thunderbolts come bursting in and order the Crimson Cowl to surrender. That’s when they see Blackheath’s apparently lifeless body laying on the examination table, angering them all. That’s when the Crimson Cowl’s cloak suddenly begins wrapping around the Machinesmith and rips him to shreds.[5] Her costume then suddenly completely unravels leaving Justine Hammer completely naked and vulnerable to her foes. This is the handywork of Skein, who had come back to rescue her comrades.

With the battle over, the Thunderbolts try to figure out their next move when suddenly SHIELD agent Dum Dum Dugan bursts into the room with the spy agency’s Elite Agents — a team of cyborg mercenaries — and orders the group to stand down.[6]

Meanwhile, in neighboring Latveria, a young girl goes to fetch a pale of water when she sees a body floating in the river. This is the second time this has happened to her in recent months and the girl runs off to get some help.[7] The body in the water turns out to be the unconscious body of Hawkeye!

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Hawkeye, Songbird, Amazon, Blackheath, Cyclone, Harrier, Skein), Masters of Evil (Crimson Cowl, Black Mamba, Hydro-Man, Machinesmith), SHIELD (Dum Dum Dugan, Skul, Kid, M-80, Nails, Silicon)

Continuity Notes

  1. Justin Hammer created a neuro-toxin to kill those who worked for him, as explained in Thunderbolts #65. They were captured by Crimson Cowl’s Masters of Evil in issue #67.

  2. Melissa’s sonic powers were originally burned out for a time just prior to her joining up with the Thunderbolts, this required her to wear a sonic carapace to replicate her abilities, as explained in Thunderbolts Annual 1997. However, her old powers have been slowly returning, as first seen in Thunderbolts #47.

  3. Machinesmith mentions how Smithers recently fought Spider-Man, a battle that saw him turning people into plant based creatures. That is a deep-cut reference to Amazing Spider-Man #437. Smithers’ transformation started happening after he used plant matter to stitch up wounds he sustained when Cottonmouth tried to chew off his arm in Thunderbolts #61.

  4. We get a quick run down of Plantman’s origins here, which were first depicted way back in Strange Tales #113. We see one of his early battles with Spider-Man here in a flashback, that happened in Marvel Team-Up #71. Lastly, the Green takes on the form of Sam’s “most ridiculous” costume, this was an leafy outfit he first started wearing in Sub-Mariner #2-3.

  5. This is not the end of the Machinesmith, he’ll turn up alive again in New Warriors (vol. 4) #11. He cheats death by transmitting his mind into a new body whenever his old one is destroyed, as first explained in Captain America #249.

  6. Don’t remember the Elite Agents of SHIELD? Don’t worry, they previously appeared in Captain America Annual 2000 and after Thunderbolts #71 they won’t be seen again, at least time of this writing in October, 2023. So you’re not missing much.

  7. This little girl discovered the body of Dallas Riordan floating in the river back in Thunderbolts #43.

Thunderbolts #68

Thunderbolts #68

Thunderbolts #70

Thunderbolts #70