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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #71

Thunderbolts #71

Becoming Heroes, Part 4: For the Common Good

The Thunderbolts — Songbird (Melissa Gold), Amazon (Katrina Van Horn), Harrier (Don Clendenon), Cyclone (Pierre Fresson), and Skein (Sybil Dorvak) — have just stopped the Crimson Cowl (Justine Hammer) from activating a bio-toxin via their teammate Blackheath (Sam Smithers). However, it appears that Smithers died in the process. Moments after their victory, they are surrounded by Dum Dum Dugan and SHIELD’s Elite Commandos — Skul (John Skulinowski), Kid (EB Farrel), M-80 (Sayuri Kyota), Nails (Joan Eaton), and Silicone (Gerald Simms) — who have come to collect Sam’s body.[1]

Songbird wants to renegotiate the terms of their success so that the other members of their new Thunderbolts team are pardoned along with her and Hawkeye. Dugan refuses to do that, which doesn’t sit well with Harrier and the others as they can still go to jail and SHIELD will be able to use Blackheath’s body to recreate the activator for the bio-toxin and use it to dangle over their heads. While everyone is arguing, nobody notices that Blackheath’s body is starting to grow green pods all over his body.

Talks completely break down when Dugan refers to the Thunderbolts as criminal that need to be kept in line. Having tried very hard to reform from her criminal past, Melissa takes offense to this and begins attacking Dugan and his cyborg soldiers. While she keeps them at bay, she orders the other to escape. However, none of her new recruits want to stop and collect Blackheath’s body as it would slow them down. This leaves Songbird stuck, as she cannot leave without him otherwise his corpse will fall into the hands of SHIELD. Dum Dum is not surprised that Songbird’s team of former crooks bailed on her and orders the Elite Commandos to go after them while he tries to reason with Melissa. He points out that her solid sound barrier is cutting off all light and moisture from Blackheath and could be slowly killing him in the process.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Thunderbolts are still fleeing the area. Harrier begins having second thoughts and asks Cyclone if they should go back. Pierre doesn’t want to get caught and this pressures Don to keep on going. That is until they are incapacitated by electrified arrows fired by Hawkeye (Clint Barton), who is finally returning to the scene after being dumped in a river.[2] Clint then finds Amazon hanging from a tree by the threads of her costume. This is the work of Skein, who also had second thoughts and used her powers to telekinetically control fibers to “convince” Katrina to turn around and help Songbird. When Hawkeye asks if they are still fighting the Crimson Cowl, Sybil informs him that the situation has changed.

Back at the Cowl’s hideout, Songbird has dropped her sound barrier and notices that the green pods on Blackheath’s body are starting to grow more rapidly. Dum Dum Dugan then tries to convince her that surrendering Smithers to him will be better in the long run. However, Melissa doesn’t like how Dugan is referring to him as “Plantman” his old villain name, nor his insistence that SHIELD having the bio-toxin activator will be a better solution to dealing with rogue super-villains.

By this time, Hawkeye has been brought up to speed and he also agrees that they should go back for Songbird and Blackheath. That’s when they are ambushed by the Elite Commandos. Clint manages to knock Skul out with a knock out gas arrow and he, Skein, and Amazon split up to fight the others. This leaves Harrier and Cyclone (who are still tied up) out in the open. The Kid comes out to apprehend them, thinking they are easy targets. Luckily for them, Amazon has doubled back and knocks the kid out. When Cyclone calls her Man-Killer and suggests they high tail it, she tells him that she actually prefers being Amazon, a hero.

Not far away, Hawkeye clashes with M-80 and quickly incapacitates her with some glue arrows, which pin her hands to some nearby trees. While that’s going down, Skein and Silicon pit their powers against one another. The idea that someone can mentally control silicon turns out to be a huge turn on for Sybil and she is soon making out with her opponent, who is more than happy to oblige her. While he’s distracted, Amazon comes up from behind and knocks him out from behind. Clint then heads back to where Cyclone and Harrier were tied up and finds that the pair finally managed to get free. Noching two arrows, Barton asks the pair to think about their next move. Wisely, they decide to follow Hawkeye’s lead back to the Crimson Cowl’s hideout. Clint’s plan is simple: Get Melissa and Sam and bug out as quickly as possible. Before they head in, Hawkeye thanks the others for making the right choice.

Inside, Songbird and Dum Dum are still at an impass on how things are going to go. They are about to come to blows when suddenly Hydro-Man (Morrie Bench) comes crashing into the room. He was one of the Cowl’s minions who was knocked out earlier in the battle. He is in agony because Blackheath’s body has been drawing moisture from him and it is slowly killing him. Before he can get away, Morrie’s entire body is then absorbed into Blackheath in a single pull.[3] This sudden flood of water allows Blackheath to complete his metamorphosis into a being made entirely out of plant matter. Blackheath wants to attack Dugan, but Songbird comes to his protection. She tells him that in order to prove to the world that they have changed, they need to show that they have, by example. This sentiment is mirrored by Hawkeye when he and the rest of the team arrive. This is enough to convince Blackheath to stand down and Clint tells Dugan that they are leaving no matter what. He asks that Dum Dum not waste his time trying to capture heroes.

That’s when a newcomer enters the room and asks Hawkeye if he and his team of “good guys” want to save the world.[4]

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Hawkeye, Songbird, Amazon, Blackheath, Cyclone, Harrier, Skein), SHIELD (Dum Dum Dugan, Skul, Kid, M-80, Nails, Silicon), Hydro-Man, Citizen V

Continuity Notes

  1. SHIELD has been trying to get tabs on this bio-weapon, the final parting gift of the late Justin Hammer since Thunderbolts #51, enlisting first Hawkeye, and then later Songbird (in issue #63) to obtain it. They in turn recruited a new team of Thunderbolts in issue #65 to help them neutralize the threat. They succeeded in Thunderbolts #69. At the time of this story, Justin Hammer had recently died in Iron Man: Bad Blood #4.

  2. Hawkeye was dumped into a river in Thunderbolts #67 by Harrier, whose armor was being controlled by the Machinesmith.

  3. Hydro-Man manages to survive being absorbed by Plantman and will turn up again in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #51-52.

  4. As we’ll discover in Thunderbolts #73, this mystery person turns out to be Citizen V. He has come to get the team’s help with an alien space craft that is buried under Symkaria that is threatening to destroy the Earth.

Topical References

  • There is a moment where Cyclone complains that Amazon has “gone to the other side”, and she responds by saying “I was born on the other side…” This not so subtly implying that Amazon is a lesbian and that she was born that way. This is implied because the subject matter of one’s sexual orientation was considered taboo in comics at the time, even then, when it was overt it was usually with a more attractive character and usually for fan service because two attractive women in a sexual relationship was more pleasing than the idea that a “butch” character like Man-Killer having any sort of agency. This was actually considered progressive for the era this was published.

Thunderbolts #70

Thunderbolts #70

Thunderbolts #72

Thunderbolts #72