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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #77

Thunderbolts #77

How to Lose

After a long day at work on the construction site, Daniel Axum went to the Limbo Bar in Hoboken for a drink. Having recently gotten out of prison, he has been trying to stay on the straight and narrow.[1] Wanting to have a quiet drink after work, Axum has just had a beer dumped on him by Cady, the coach for a local super-human wrestling league. Being goaded into a fight, Axum is told to hit Cady by his employer: Rey Trueno.

Trueno calls Daniel by his birthname, because he knows all about Danny Broughton. He knows that he used to be a super-villain by the name of the Battler, before he got his ass beat by Spider-Man and Daredevil and went to jail. Daniel tells Rey that he legally changed his last name to Axum more than two years ago.

When Cady calls it a “monkey name”, it is the last straw. Daniel hits him with enough force to send the coach flying out the window. Axum runs out side to make sure Cady isn’t seriously hurt and apologizes. Cady says Daniel isn’t sorry yet and then ambushes him. The two then brawl until Cady is convinces that Axum is a good fighter and cries uncle. That’s when Daniel looks around and sees all the damage their fight has caused and begins to panic. He fears that when his parole officer finds out he could go back to prison for another five years and screw his life up even more.

Both Cady and Trueno believe they have found their man. Rey then assures Axum that all the damage will be paid for and nobody will report him to the police. More to the point, Rey has an offer for Axum. Daniel is told about Trueno’s fighting league and is assured that it is all above the board and all legal. Axum could be looking at making a lot of money fighting. This all sounds too good to be true and Axum figures there is some kind of trouble involved in working for Rey and refuses. He is about to leave when Rey asks Axum when he’ll get tired of losing. Turns out, Trueno knows all about what it’s like being in prison. How it breaks you with its regimented rules, how people on the outside promise to visit you but ultimately abandon you. Rey then hands Axum his business card and tells him to think about it and give him a call. Once the rich man leaves, Axum tosses the business card in the trash and heads home.

When Axum finally gets home, its just as his mother is finished an angry telephone conversation with his ex-girlfriend Gina. Gina is furious that Daniel isn’t there to answer the phone, not buying his mother’s claim that he is sleeping after a long day at work. She reminds her that Daniel has a responsibility to help raise their son, little Benny, and is upset that his child support payment is late again. When she sees how Daniel’s clothes are all torn up and he’s bloody, she assumes that he has been involved in criminal activity again. Upset, she runs out of the room crying. Daniel tries to explain himself, but it is no use.

The following day, Daniel tries to lose himself in his work at the construction site. Unfortunately, all he can think about is how hard it is to earn enough money to pay the rent, support himself and his mother, and pay child support. His thoughts are interrupted by his boss who tells Daniel that his parole officer, Mister Eales, in the office. Eales wants to talk about a rumor he heard about Axum being at the Limbo bar. At first, Daniel thinks that Rey screwed him over, however, Eales is talking about how he heard that Axum was in there the week before drinking bourbon. Axum is reminded that not drinking alcohol was part of his parole, but Eales decides to let him off with a warning this time. Axum tries to justify this lapse, pointing out all the thinks in his life that suck at the moment. Eales admits that he’d enjoy a drink under that sort of pressure, but makes a point of saying that he can drink whenever he wants because he’s not on parole like Axum is. He then warns Daniel to stay away from Limbo and leaves.

That evening, after he gets paid, Axum goes to a cheque cashing place to get money. He then finds himself standing outside Limbo debating on if he should go inside or not. Looking down at the trash can he tossed Rey Trueno’s business card, Axum goes digging through the trash to see if he can find it. However, he doesn’t have to look for long as Rey arrives and hands Axum a fresh one.

Later that evening, at the warehouse where Rey holds his matches, the crowd has been worked up into a frenzy. They are hoping that the new challenger will defeat the Armadillo (Anthony Rodriguez), who the fans absolutely hate. Anthony realizes that the crowd is more worked up than usual and asks Coach Cady what he knows about the new challenger that he is going to face tonight. Cady, who usually has some good advice, tells Rodriquez that he has nothing. This upsets the Armadillo, but he is forced to go out and face his new challenger anyway. His opponent is Axum, who is waiting nervously in the ring. Most of the spectators are cheering him on, except for one woman. She mockingly calls him “Milk-Eye” and says that Axum is going to get his ass beat by Armadillo.

Soon the bell rings and the fight begins. Axum is unprepared for how fast Armadillo is and is quickly sent crashing down to the mat. As Daniel tries to get his head straight, Armadillo shouts to Coach Cady, telling him that he still has what it takes to be a fight and is going to prove it by killing Axum!

Recurring Characters

Axum, Armadillo, Rey Trueno, Lydia, Benny Broughton, Coach Cady, Gina, Axum’s Mother

Continuity Notes

  1. Axum had just served a three year sentence, as we learned last issue.

Topical References

  • The characters use a lot of slang that was used by both the African-American and Latino communities in the early 2000s. These usages should be considered topical as they are dated and are considered negative stereotypes to many in these groups.

  • Rey Trueno states here that Axum could make $10,000 in a single fight. Adjusting for inflation this would be worth about $16k in 2023 money.

Thunderbolts #76

Thunderbolts #76

Thunderbolts #78

Thunderbolts #78