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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #80

Thunderbolts #80

Getting Even

In New York City, a robbery by the Man-Killer (Katrina Van Horn) is interrupted by Spider-Man. The wall-crawler is able to run laps around the female powerhouse and thoroughly humiliates her before leaving her webbed up to a lamp post for the cops to take care of.

Meanwhile, in New Jersey, the Armadello (Antonio Rodriguez) has been reduced to living on the streets after he was dropped by fight promoter Rey Trueno. When some school kids pass by his alley, he begs them for a dollar. The boys mock him instead. One of the kids recognizes Rodriguez as a former prize fighter. However, he cruelly eggs Armadillo on until he boasts about being the champ. Which gives the kids a good laugh before they run off.

This is all seen by Daniel Axum, the fighting league’s rising star and he is stunned in silence as it wasn’t that long ago that he fought Armadillo in the ring.[1] Coach Cady sees this and tells Axum to get inside the gym for practice. Axum doesn’t like being ordered around and demands to know if their boss, Rey Trueno, is around. Cady says he’s not in, and Axum tells the coach to watch his mouth around him in the future. After Axum goes inside, Armadillo approaches Cady and tries to get help. He tells Rodriguez that he only coaches winners and slams the door in Anthony’s face.

Meanwhile, Man-Killer is cooling her heels at the local jail, telling her cell mates how she plans on getting revenge on Spider-Man. That’s when one of the officers comes by and Katrina that she is free to go because someone paid her bail. Van Horn is surprised to learn this and soon finds out her old friend Lydia — who has been dating Axum recently — reveals that she was the one who made bail. Man-Killer is brought to a limo which then speeds off to New Jersey. Katrina is nervous about this, pointing out that she can’t leave New York State while out on bail. Lydia explains that Katrina can if she works out of state. That’s when she is properly introduced to the man sitting across from them, Rey Trueno, who wants to recruit her in to his wrestling league. In fact, to sell her on joining, Trueno has hired a high priced lawyer to represent Katrina in court instead of her usual public defender. He is already working on an argument that will make her jewel store robbery seem like an act of self-defense against Spider-Man.

They soon arrive at the gym, prompting Cady to abruptly end Axum’s training session so they can see what Man-Killer is bringing to the table. As Axum is trying to make sense of this new comer, he is told he has a phone call waiting for him. It’s Daniel’s mother and she is just checking in on him to see if he is doing ok. She was also calling to say that Gina — his ex-girlfriend — called and asked if they could take Benny for the weekend. Axum is looking forward to spending extra time with his son, and is happy to hear that his mother agreed to this arrangement already. As he gets off the phone he watches Man-Killer in the ring and begins to get nervous.

That’s when Lydia jumps him from behind and jokingly asks if she should be worried about the way he is looking at Katrina. She then explains how she helped Rey bail Van Horn out of jail and recruit her into the league. Hearing how they basically manipulated her into joining, Axum calls Lydia out on it. To change the subject, she pretends to be hurt and then suggests that he needs a shower to cool off and drags him into the locker room.

At that same time, Man-Killer is showing off her fighting skills but Cady is becoming more and more frustrated. Katrina is too angry to fight properly and his womanizing statements aren’t helping her temperament. When he starts complaining about her lack of focus to Rey, it angers her so much she starts to see Cady as Spider-Man. This pushes her over the edge and she lunges at him, hitting the coach with enough force to send him flying across the room and crashing through a punching bag before slamming into the wall and getting knocked out. Impress, Trueno decides that finding another trainer for Katrina will probably be best from here on out.

By this time, Axum and Lydia are out of the show and while he feels better he still doesn’t feel good. Seeing Man-Killer being brought in has got him thinking that Rey Trueno might be hedging his bets by grooming Katrina as Axum’s successor. It’s not that hard to come to this conclusion after seeing what happened to Amadillo after Daniel beat him in the ring. Lyda tries to brush this off as Daniel being paranoid, but he wants to have a word with his boss about it. Lydia quickly rushes ahead of him and tells him not to do this now and ruin a good thing he has going on. When she asks him to sit down and hear her out, he decides to listen to what Lydia has to say. She tells him to keep quiet about what she is about to tell him, and says that Rey brought Man-Killer in because the sport is about to go to the big leagues. This means bigger arenas, more fame, more money, and more opportunities. Axum could be the next big professional athlete and with that comes lucrative endorsement deals. Axum is about to be sold on this until she mentions the last thing, because he finds it hard to believe his scarred face being on the box of any product. His enthusiasm is completely deflated and he storms out of the locker room without another word.

As he walks across the gym, Man-Killer calls out to him as she recognizes him from his old villain days as the Battler.[2] Axum tells her that he doesn’t go by that name anymore and asks what she wants. She wants to know where she can get a drink and he points her to the Limbo, the bar he regularly frequents. She is pleased to know one is nearby and asks him to meet up with her there at 8 pm. Curious to see what Katrina wants he meets up with her that evening. There she introduces her to her friends Delilah and Mac Gargan, aka the Scorpion. They are all looking to get revenge against Spider-Man and Katrina wants to know if Axum wants to be part of the team.

Recurring Characters

Axum, Spider-Man, Armadillo, Man-Killer, Scorpion, Delilah, Rey Trueno, Lydia, Benny Broughton, Coach Cady, Gina,

Continuity Notes

  1. The Armadillo was the champ before Axum defeated him. After which he was discarded because both Rey and Cady believed he was past his prime, as seen over the first four issues of this story arc.

  2. Axum had just served a three year sentence, as we learned Thunderbolts #76.

Topical References

  • The characters use a lot of slang that was used by both the African-American and Latino communities in the early 2000s. These usages should be considered topical as they are dated and are considered negative stereotypes to many in these groups.

  • The boys call Armadillo a retard, which used to be a clinical medical term for the developmentally challenged. However, it was co-opted and is now widely considered a slur against the disabled. These kids have some serious potty mouth, so take its usage here for what it is.

  • Speaking of pejorative terms, Cady refers to Man-Killer as a “dyke”, which is a derogatory term used to describe lesbians. This kind of casual homophobic slur was fairly common around the time this story was published. It would not be considered appropriate now.

  • Axum quips that Gina is probably spending all of her child support money at Saks. Saks is a famous New York City department store. This should be considered a topical reference as this is a real world business.

  • There is a poster on the wall referring to the Armadillo as the 2002 champion. The year should be considered a topical reference as it is relative to the date of publication. Modern readers should interpret this to mean that he was the champ a year prior to this story as opposed to a specific year.

  • When disappointed about Man-Killer’s fighting ability, Cady sarcastically suggests they recruit Tonya Harding next. Now Tonya Price (she got married in 2010) is a former American figure skater. She gained infamy for hiring someone to assault her chief rival, Nancy Kerrigan. The crime and scandal were sensationalized in the media and it became tabloid fodder for years. This was already a dated reference when it was made when this story was originally published, it is for sure a topical reference now.

  • Lyda compares Axum’s future stardom next to that of legendary basketball player Michael Jordan and says he will get his face on the Wheaties box. Wheaties is a breakfast cereal that has regularly featured pro-athletes on the box in order to sell the idea that it is a health brand of breakfast food. Both of these should be considered topical references as Jordan is a real world person and Wheaties are a real world product.

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