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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts: Life Sentences #1

Thunderbolts: Life Sentences #1

Life Sentences

The lives of four former members of the Thunderbolts have gone in different directions since the group was forced to disband,[1] and now they reflect on these changes. For Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, questions his ethics as he sits incarcerated at Seagate Prison. Karla Sofen (Moonstone), questions her morals after agreeing to work with the villain Graviton (Frank Hall). In the case of Abe Jenkins (Mach-2) he is thankful of his good fortunes after landing a job at an electronics company.[2] Lastly, Melissa Gold (Songbird) feels that she doesn’t deserve any after she impulsively stole a necklace from a jewelry store.[3] Although they are all thinking about different things, they all ask themselves the same question: Did they make the right call?

Clint Barton has found prison incredibly difficult to adjust to. Facing a 10-20 year sentence he is disrespected by the guards and hated by the other prisoners, many of whom he helped incarcerate. The amount of time he has to serve seems irrelevant considering that he could be killed by anyone at any given time. Sitting down to lunch in the mess hall, Clint feels the eyes of some of the other prisoners: Dirk Garthwaite (the Wrecker), Sam Smithers (Plantman), Henry Camp (Bulldozer), and Nicholas Powell (Chance). When they are all ordered back to their cells, Camp takes his chance by trying to trip Clint. That’s when Fred Myers (aka Boomerang) calls out that there is a fight. Suddenly, Clint is swarmed by the other inmates and takes a beating while the guards turn a blind eye. However, the fight suddenly stops and everyone walks away as though nothing even happened, leaving Clint very confused.

This strange spectacle is also observed by Karla Sofen, who has been sneaking down to Seagate each night to check on Clint. Slipping inside with her power of intangibility and wearing a stealth suit, she has been able to enter the security monitoring room and watch his movements.[4] After the fight ends, she heads back to Graviton’s hideout in Northern California, questioning all her recent decisions since the Thunderbolts were forced to disband. She finds herself fighting with conflicting feelings, the desire to be indifferent or be in love with Hawkeye. Outside she finds M’Reel, Graviton’s other dimensional ally, who is waiting on her to make up her mind on if she wishes to become Frank Hall’s spiritual advisor. Indeed, Graviton wishes to have her expertise on call as he tries to take over the world.

While in Burton Canyon, Colorado, Abe Jenkins is hard at work at Kingsman Electronics. He likes his now job and has the respect of his co-workers. Which is a lot different from the lack of appreciation he received at his old job, which led to his becoming the armored criminal known as the Beetle. Working late into the evening, Jenkins is trusted to close up shop for the night by his boss, Bill Kingsman and his colleagues Jim and Kelly. They treat him like one of the guys, not as a former criminal, or the heroic Mach-2, or as a Black man. For the first time, he feels comfortable in his own skin since Techno changed his appearance from Caucasian to African-American.[5] At the end of the work day, Bill even asks Abe to lock up and invites him out to the local bar to have some drinks with them once he finishes up. Abe agrees to join them and as he is cleaning up he notices that Jim and Kelly have been using more materials then they have inventoried and wonders if the two might be stealing from the job.

At the apartment Abe shares with his girlfriend, Melissa Gold questions why she stolen a necklace from the local jewelry store. She went in thinking about applying for a job, and stole out of impulse. Now that she has the stolen item in her home, she realizes that its not worth much, and that she doesn’t even know who she could fence it through anymore. She realizes that a side effect as her time as a hero has made her forget how to be a criminal. That’s when some glasses in the kitchen sink suddenly shatter. She realizes that they were affected by some kind of sonics, and wonders if she was responsible, something that should be impossible without her sonic carapace.[6] She also remembers how she somehow was able to manipulate sonic sounds when she and the Thunderbolts were being held prisoner on the moon of Titan.[7] That’s when Abe returns home and asks Melissa how her day was. She misinterprets his genuine interest as condescension and angrily storms out of the apartment to go for a walk. As she walks she is visited by Captain Marvel (Genis-Vell) who says that he has come to help her.

Back at Seagate, Clint Barton has returned to his cell for the night and is being taunted by the other prisoners. One of them lets slip that Mentallo — the mutant telepath — used his powers to make them stop attacking him. Clint suddenly remembers how Abner — when he was working for the CSA to bust Justin Hammer — had learned that Mentallo (Marvin Flumm) was helping crooks escape from prison from the inside. He decides to try and reach out to with his mind and see if he can establish contact. Within seconds, Mentallo is telepathically contacting Hawkeye is pulled into the astral plane. Mentallo transmits Clint’s mind into the one of the guards that watches over his body. Marvin explains how his body was kept in stasis to prevent him from using his powers until Justin Hammer found a technological means of waking up his mind. While his body is still trapped, his mind is free to do as it pleases. Returning Barton to his own body, Mentallo tells him that he will be dead within a month unless he helps Mentallo bust out of prison.

Meanwhile, Karla Sofen has been putting her psychiatric skills to work to help Graviton achieve his true potential. She teaches him how to balance his powers and fine tune their use. With some practice Frank Hall is able to use his gravitational abilities to shape grains of sand into the yin/yang symbol. Karla admits that after they last fought she looked into Graviton’s past and learned of his many defeats at the hands of the Avengers. She muses how his whole reason for using his powers was for the love of a woman.[8] This angers Graviton, who admits that his past failures were due to a lack of vision. When she asks him what his goals are now, he admits that he doesn’t know. She demonstrates why that is by covering his eyes with her hands and tells him to try and move the sand with his powers now.

The following morning, Abe Jenkins returns to his job and is about to tell his boss about how Jim and Kelly are stealing components from the company. However, the two thieves arrive for work before he can say anything. Abe then heads off to a job at the bank and, when he gets back, Jim and Kelly are gone. When Abe tells Bill about what’s going on, Kingsman reveals that he knows all about it and suggests that Abe do the same thing since he could make some extra money on the side. At the same time, Melissa and Genis-Vell have been waiting at a 24 hour diner waiting for the jeweler store to open back up. Melissa isn’t sure how she is going to handle returning the stolen property, and then asks why Genis has taken up an interest in her. He tells her that thanks to his Cosmic Consciousness, he has seen glimpses of what might be and wants to help Melissa achieve her true potential.[9] He tells her covering up her insecurities about the future by stealing is only going to harm her in the end. As they pay the bill and leave the diner, Genis tells her that he knows she used her powers on him back on Titan. He confirms that she didn’t control him, but merely nudged him in the right direction to do the right thing. That’s when they notice the jewelry store is open and Genis asks her what she plans on doing.

By that time, Hawkeye is out in the exercise yard, well aware that everyone’s eyes are on him and the fact that most “accidents” in prison happen here. Sure enough, the other crooks try create a distraction so one of them can stab Clint from behind with a shiv. However, Hawkeye was ready for it and quickly disarms his attacker. He then uses the tension springs of one of the exercise machine like a make-shift bow to fire the shive back at his attacker. When the guards come to break up the fight, Clint gets tasered until he drops. The guard welcomes Barton to the first day of the rest of his life before tossing him into solitary confinement. Finally accepting the fact that he won’t live to see the end of his sentence, Clint mentally contacts Mentallo again and tells the telepath that they have a deal.[10]

Meanwhile, Karla continues to council with Graviton. With his eyes covered he is able to visualize the Earth and make a replica of the planet using the sand on the beach. As they are joined by M’Reel, Frank carves his face into the sandy sphere to show her that he intends to take over the world. When Karla asks him what he plans to do once he succeeds, he tells her what she should do. Seeing her face materialize on the replica of the Earth, she smiles and admits that he just asked a very good question.

Back in Burton Canyon, Melissa returns the stolen necklace without issue. When he returns to Genis, she assures him that she made the choice on her own, not because of anything he said to her. Changing back into Captain Marvel, Genis assures her that he knows that and flies away. Meanwhile, at Kingsman Electronics, Jim and Kelly have returned. Bill asks Abe once again if he’s in or out. Abe surprises them by attacking, he then swings onto the counter from some overhead pipes, breaking them and causing a leak onto the floor. He then kicks the cash register onto the pool of water. This causes a brief electrical surge that knocks the three men out. Abe then addresses one of the security cameras, asking if this was enough evidence for them. As it turns out, while Abe had tipped off the local authorities and had rigged up the shop’s security system to catch the thieves in the act. Abe was glad to do the right thing, but now he is out of a job. However, Sergeant Widdows of the Burton Canyon police tells him that they’re in need of a technician to help get their communications systems up to snuff and asks if he is interested.

When Abe returns home, he is surprised to see that Melissa has cleaned up the apartment. The two make amends for their earlier argument, and Abe tells her about his job situation. Mel then tells him that she got a job as well at Vibe, the local record store. She then kisses Abe in the most romantic way since he had his change in appearance. She tells him that she is now able to look past the cosmetic changes to his skin tone, saying that it’s the man under the skin that she has fallen in love with and outward appearances don’t matter.

So we leave our four subjects for the time being, all of whom have reached the same conclusion in very different ways: As members of the former Thunderbolts, they live on the razor’s edge choosing between life or death at any given moment. When consequences could be dire, they do not have the luxury of foresight. They have to do what it takes to live through the day, and hope they can reflect on the outcome later.

Primary Characters

Thunderbolts (Hawkeye, Moonstone, Songbird, Mach-2), Captain Marvel, Wrecker, Bulldozer, Plantman, Chance, Boomerang, Graviton, M’Reel, Cardinal, Mentallo

Continuity Notes

  1. The Thunderbolts were forced to disband and Hawkeye went to prison in exchange for the group to get presidential pardons, as seen in Thunderbolts #50.

  2. Karla answered a call to team-up with Graviton in Thunderbolts #51. Abe got his electronics job in the same issue.

  3. Melissa stole on impulse in Thunderbolts #52.

  4. This is one of the same stealth suits that the Thunderbolts used to help Abe Jenkins break out of prison back in Thunderbolts #37. Karla briefly mentions her psychological struggles to be good. This was due to the influence of her Moon Stone showing her the memories and altering her persona to match that of its original owner, a Kree warrior known as Ajes’ha. It was later revealed that Karla was subconsciously accessing these memories This started in Thunderbolts #28 and was resolved in issues #45-47.

  5. We get ourselves a huge exposition dump about Abe Jenkins and his careers as the criminal Beetle, and the heroic Mach-1 & 2, and his recent race-lift. The deets:

    • Abner’s previous employment issues, which led to his life of crime were first documented in Thunderbolts #-1. The development of his Beetle armor was told in a flashback in Daredevil #34.

    • He first became the Beetle way back in Strange Tales #123. Of particular note, he murdered a dude in Deadly Foes of Spider-Man #3, something that would come back to haunt him later. After years of being the Beetle, he agreed to join Baron Zemo’s Masters of Evil when they were masquerading as the Thunderbolts, as seen in Thunderbolts Annual 1997.

    • He took on the identity of Mach-1, posing as a hero until Thunderbolts #12 when their world domination scheme was exposed. However, by this time, Abe and most of the other Thunderbolts actually took a liking to being heroes and decided to reform.

    • Remember Beetle’s murder? Well, after Hawkeye joined the Thunderbolts in issue #21, he convinced Abe to surrender to the authorities and do time as a show of good faith that the team truly wished to reform. Jenkins surrendered in Thunderbolts #23.

    • Abe then found himself enlisted in a scheme by the CSA to bust criminal industrialist Justin Hammer starting in Thunderbolts #26. In the end, the Thunderbolts exposed this plot and forced Henry Gyrich to release Abe. In order to hide his identity, he underwent cosmetic surgery, and was turned into an African-American man in Thunderbolts #37. Abe’s black skin will remain his status quo until Avengers/Thunderbolts #1.

  6. Melissa burned out her vocal chords from mourning the apparent death of her partner in crime, Angar the Screamer. When she later joined up with the Thunderbolts she was given a sonic carapace that would allow her to create hard sound constructs, replacing her lost abilities. See Thunderbolts Annual 1997 for the details.

  7. The Thunderbolts were briefly held prisoner by the Eternals of Titan, this is where Melissa first used her sonic powers without the aid of her carapace. See Thunderbolts #45-47.

  8. We get a greatest hits of Graviton’s biggest failures:

    • A run down of his origins, his obsession with a co-worker named Judy Parks and his first defeat at the hands of the Avengers. This all took place in Avengers #158-159.

    • We see his second defeat (and attempt to get at Judy) at the hands of the Thing and Black Bolt of the Inhumans. that clash occurred in Marvel Two-In-One Annual #4.

    • Karla also mentions how he fought the Avengers West Coast, he did so on two occasions in West Coast Avengers #2-4 and (vol. 2) #12-13.

    • She then skips ahead to the times he fought the Thunderbolts in Thunderbolts #17 and 27-30.

  9. Genis is referring to the events of Avengers Forever #1-12, where future versions of he and Songbird are members of the Avengers, and lovers. Per Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #5, this future is part of Reality-98120. As of this writing (September 2023), these events have not occurred on Earth-616.

  10. What Mentallo doesn’t know is that Clint was previously contacted by Dum Dum Dugan of SHIELD to help facilitate Mentallo’s breakout in Thunderbolts #52 in the hopes that they can be lead to the late Justin Hammer’s hidden treasure, as will be explained in issue #58. Justin Hammer is referred to as deceased here, this is because he had just recently died in Iron Man: Bad Blood #4.

Topical References

  • Various TVs and computer monitors are depicted as CRT models. This should be considered topical as this is now an obsolete technology.

Thunderbolts #52

Thunderbolts #52

Thunderbolts #53

Thunderbolts #53