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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Wonder Man Annual #2

Wonder Man Annual #2

Hitmaker

Hollywood has found a new super-powered actor a man calling himself Hit Maker. While filming a crime drama, Hit Maker calls cut in the middle of an action sequence. He complains to the director that the gang members in the scene are inauthentic. He points out everything that they have gotten wrong and insists that he will not work on the project unless they present street crime in Los Angeles in an authentic way. The director apologizes, saying that the studio wrote the script because they want a film industry supported super-hero after all the damage Wonder Man has done to the industry.[1] Hit Maker tells him not to worry because he'll deal with Wonder Man himself.

To this end, Hit Maker begins sending threatening messages to everyone connected to Wonder Man.[2] Eventually he gets the message and goes to a location it mentions to confront whoever it is that is harassing him.[3] When Wonder Man arrives on the designated rooftop he notices that news helicopter and camera crews are all over the area. He’s then ambushed by Hit Maker who explains that he has lured Simon out to beat him in a fight. As the two fight it out, Wonder Man feels that Hit Maker is wearing some kind of metal armor under his clothing. Ripping his shirt, he is surprised to see that the new hero wears a strength enhancing cybernetic exoskeleton. He even recognizes it as modified from the armor built by Stuart Clarke, aka Rampage.[4] The fight is soon interrupted when some gang members appear on another rooftop and fire a rocket launcher at the two combatants. With Hit Maker injured in the blast, Wonder Man quickly carries him off to a hospital to get treatment. The whole way there, Simon figures there’s something more going on here.

At the hospital, Wonder Man waits for the doctors to give him an update on Hit Maker, aka Orlando Sinclair. He is joined by his old friend, the Beast, and the two watches the news coverage of his fight with Hit Maker. Simon wonders why the Hollywood studios are going after him in such an overt fashion.[5] Getting fed up with waiting, Simon demands that the nurses let him in to see Sinclair but they refuse since it was Wonder Man who landed him in the hospital anyway. That’s when the Beast notices some of the gang members slipping into Orlando’s room while they are arguing and alerts Simon. Wonder Man stops the thugs and discovers that they are all carrying guns. Their leader scoffs at having illegal firearms, telling Simon that he can be out on bail by the end of the day for such a minor violation. Despite this, Wonder Man hands them over to the Beast and tells him to call the cops.

Having had enough, Wonder Man barges into Hit Maker’s room and orders him to stand up and talk. When Orlando says he can’t get up, Wonder Man forces him up to his feet. However, Sinclair quickly collapses to the ground and reveals to Simon that he’s a quadriplegic. That’s when he hears a gunshot out in the hallway and rushes out to check on Hank. McCoy merely got grazed by a bullet, but one of the gang members has managed to get away and is fleeing the scene. Simon tells the Beast to go after him, but before Simon can join him he is ambushed by Hit Maker, who is back on his feet thanks to his armor. That’s when Wonder Man notices that there is another camera crew hanging around and realizes that Orlando is instigating this fight in order to make him look bad and walks away. However, this is only until the camera crew begins packing up. With the cameras off, Wonder Man gets the drop on Hit Maker and yanks him outside. As the two fight, Sinclair explains how he has been hired by the Hollywood studios that have an axe to grind with Wonder Man.[6]

As the two fight it out, Hit Maker makes it known that he doesn’t mind being exploited by the industry since he played by all the normal rules and all that got him was getting shot in the spine. Simon then points out that the studios will drop him once they figure out why the gangs are coming after him, suspecting that it has something to do with his body armor. Orlando decides to let Wonder Man try and help him and the two rendezvous with the Beast at a nearby studio. Hank was able to follow the fleeing gang member back to their hideout and leads Wonder Man and Hit Maker to its location.

Along the way, Orlando reveals his origin to the two veteran heroes. Orlando explains that while his biracial family struggled in white America, Orlando did his best not to get involved in street crime and became a star football player on his high school team. His older brother Mariano on the other hand joined up with a gang who wanted to recruit Orlando as well. He refused and tried to earn a living as a Hollywood actor. Unfortunately, he didn’t have any industry connections and couldn’t land any roles. During this time, Mariano was clashing with rival gangs but managed to earn enough money to buy a house down in Lincoln Park. The rival gangsters went out looking for Mariano one day and when they found Orlando waiting for a bus they decided that they would get revenge against Mariano by hurting Orlando. This is how Orlando got shot and ended up a quadriplegic. Mariano was sorry for what happened to his brother and offered him the armor that gave him his powers, intending Orlando to become a hitman for his gang. Instead, Orlando ran off with the suit and reinvented himself as Hit Maker in the hopes that his super-human powers would give him the acting opportunities he could not get on his own. The gang has been after him to get the suit back ever since.

By the time Hit Maker is finished his story, the trio have arrived outside the gang’s hideout. They are easily able to smash their way into the hideout where they find Mariano. He and his gang are no match for Wonder Man, the Beast, and Hit Maker, but Mariano has called in some outside help. That’s when two members of the Recession Raiders arrive on the scene. Wonder Man recognizes them as the two that fled during his recent battle with the group. However, the duo aren’t sticking around for long as they have come to help Mariano escape. When Wonder Man tries to go after them, Hit Maker stops him as the media has shown up and he has no desire for his family history to be brought out on the news. Wonder Man agrees and the two promise to track down the Recession Raiders and bring his brother to justice later.[7] In the meantime, Hit Maker uses the media presence to commend himself and Wonder Man for smashing a local gang. As the two pose for the cameras, the Beast sarcastically praises how much he loves Los Angeles.

Recurring Characters

Wonder Man, Beast, Recession Raiders

Continuity Notes

  1. Wonder Man has had a history of attacking movie sets. Notably in Wonder Man (vol. 2) #2 and 24. In his own defense he was being manipulated by villains in both instances.

  2. Wonder Man states that the letters were sent to the Avengers West Coast whom he was a member until Wonder Man (vol. 2) #18, his former apartment which he also moved out of in issue #18. Also his agent, aka Neal Saroyan who has been representing Simon since Wonder Man (vol. 2) #1.

  3. Wonder Man hopes that this isn’t another ploy of the Grim Reaper and Blackheart. This story happens between the events of the Hidden Depth story arc which takes place in Wonder Man (vol. 2) #22-25.

  4. Before his company went bankrupt during a recession, Stuart Clarke developed a suit of armor to try and rival that of Iron Man. When his business went under he went to war against corporate America as Rampage, as seen in Champions #5-8. After being arrested following Spectacular Spider-Man #17-18, Clarke’s Rampage armor fell into the possession of Pactech who reversed engineered and duplicated the armor. Clarke later recovered his original suit and the duplicates which he gave to a group of homeless men to become his Recession Raiders. See Wonder Man (vol. 2) #5-6.

  5. Wonder Man mentions how he has gone “savage”. This is in reference to the fact that his powers have become regulated by his emotions since getting exposed to a nega-bomb blast in Wonder Man (vol. 2) #9. This will remain the status quo until issue #25.

  6. Hit Maker mentions Wonder Man’s recent battle with the Avengers West Coast that happened in Wonder Man (vol. 2) #16-18, as well as his getting the lead role in a film adaptation of MacBeth in issue #19.

  7. This never happens. Hit Maker will get a mention in Civil War: Battle Damage Report #1 as a potential recruit for the Initiative. The Recession Raiders aren’t really seen as a group. One of their members, Ronnie will be seen in New Avengers #35, per Avengers, Thor & Captain America: Official Index to the Marvel Universe #15. At some point he was replaced with a Skrull as seen in Secret Invasion #7.

Topical References

  • When critiquing an actor playing a gang member, Hit Maker refers to him as “Sid-’n’-Nancy-poof boy.” This is in reference to musician Sid Vicious who was a member of the Sex Pistols until they broke up in 1978. He and his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen, had a famously destructive relationship that ended with Nancy getting stabbed to death and Sid overdosing on heroin shortly thereafter.

  • Hit Maker refers to himself as a “true hero of the 90’s” in this story. This should be considered topical as it is relative to the date of publication.

  • Warner Brothers is one of the studios that is depicted as hiring on Hit Maker to deal with Wonder Man. This should be considered a topical reference as this is a real world company. However, I wonder if this was an intentional choice given that Warner Brothers owns Marvel’s chief rivals, DC Comics.

  • Wonder Man and Hit Maker meet up with the Beast outside Paramount Pictures. This is another topical reference for the same reason as Warner Brothers.

  • When talking about how poorly treated he was trying to find work in Hollywood, Orlando states that studio security guards figured he was trying to steal cassette tapes for his “ghetto-blaster”. This was a slang term for portable stereos at the time which were popular in lower income neighborhoods hence the name. The reference to both cassettes and these portable stereos should be considered topical as this technology is obsolete.

  • Hit Maker specifically states that he doesn’t want his family drama appearing on CNN. This should be considered a topical reference as it is a real world television network.

Fair Cut

The assassin known as Splice has been hired to eliminate a movie critic that gave a film a bad review. Hiring a camera crew and a stunt driver, Splice hunts down the critic on the highway and kills him while the cameras a rolling. Editing it together like a film, Splice meets with his clients — four Hollywood players named Jenson, Powell, Lichkov, and Carr — who are pleased and give him payment. When asked if he’s going to count the money, Splice says he shouldn’t have to since anyone who stiffs him won’t live to do it twice.

However, Splice soon learns that the footage has been packaged and sold and confronts Marston, the man who filmed the incident. Marston tells Splice that the video — titled Splice and Dice — is one of the top selling snuff film on the market and he should be pleased at getting all the free advertising. However, Splice knows how much they made on sales and wants his fair cut of the profits.

Later that evening, Jenson is on the road trying to call his colleagues but nobody is answering. This is because Splice has already murdered Powell, Lichkov, and Carr. He gets through to Ellis, the stunt driver who helped them with Splice and Dice and he tells Jenson that everyone is dead because of Splice. Little knowing that Splice is on the other end of the line with his blade up against Ellis’ throat, Jenson agrees to meet up with him outside town. When Jenson gets to the location he discovers that someone had killed Ellis and stuffed him into the hood of his own car. That’s when Splice gets the drop on him. Jenson then discovers — to his horror — that Splice is filming a sequel to Splice and Dice and he is the latest victim.

Splice then stuffs Jenson into the trunk of the car and pushes it off the cliff where it explodes on impact with the water below. After getting the video edited together Splice watches Splice and Dice II and considers it an instant classic.

Recurring Characters

Splice

Topical References

  • Splice refers to his stunt driver as a “Clint Eastwood type”, at the time of this story Eastwood was best known for playing the character Harry Callahan in the Dirty Harry series of films. Eastwood played a no-nonsense cop who often shot first and asked questions later. This should be considered a topical reference as Eastwood moved away from action roles as he got older and there are better, more contemporary examples that one could to describe someone instead.

  • The Splice and Dice movie is depicted as being on VHS tape. This should be considered topical as this is an obsolete technology.

  • He also states that Splice and Dice grossed 2.6 million dollars. Which was a lot of money for a movie back in 1992 when this was published. Adjusting for inflation this would be worth 5.5 million in 2022 money.

  • Jansen is depicted as having a car phone. This should be considered topical as this technology has become obsolete thanks to the advent of cell phones.

  • Splice’s home is depicted having a CRT model television, a VCR, and an extensive VHS collection. These should all be considered topical as they are obsolete technologies.

Return of the Living Colossus

Simon Williams, aka Wonder Man, has taken on the lead roll in an action film that features It the Living Colossus a massive stone creature. The director calls cut when Simon flubs one of his lines. As they prepare to reset the scene, the Colossus animatronic suddenly strikes Wonder Man with a blow strong enough to send him crashing into the camera, damaging it. Annoyed that the robot keeps malfunctioning, the director calls a lunch break while they get everything working again.

Simon decides to take the down time to talk to Robert O’Bryan, the man who built the animatronic Living Colossus. As it turns out, O’Bryan actually used to mentally control the real Living Colossus many years earlier. That was until the stone creature was smashed to bits by the Hulk.[1] Since then, Robert had gotten into special effects and married his long time girlfriend Diane Cummings. He constructed a mechanical replica of the Living Colossus and shows off a new cybernetic helmet he is working on so he can mentally control the robot like he did the original. Bob doesn’t understand why the Colossus keeps malfunctioning and gets to work trying to figure out the bug.

Little does anyone realize that this is an act of sabotage by a guy named Charlie, a rival special effects artist that was out bid by O’Bryan. Seeking revenge, he has been using a device to override the Colossus and make it act up. He then decides to ramp things up by causing the Colossus to go on the rampage. This prompts Wonder Man to try and stop it, however the director warns him not to damage the prop which is the actual star of the movie and isn’t as expendable as Williams is.

Wonder Man tries to stop the monster but gets knocked onto another set, interrupting the scene of a family comedy and angering its child star. When the Colossus begins trashing the set of the latest superhero movie, it also threatens the life of Diane who has a lead role in the film. As Wonder Man tries to contain the monster, O’Bryan discovers that someone is hijacking the control signals. To counteract this he completes his cybernetic helmet and forces the Colossus to stop.

Once Dianne is save, Wonder Man tracks the source of the pirate signal and catches Charlie red handed. About a year later, Charlie is still in prison. When his cellmate tells him that they are going to be showing Return of the Living Colossus in the auditorium that evening, Charlie says he’ll skip it because he knows the movie sucks.

Recurring Characters

Wonder Man, It the Living Colossus, Bob O’Bryan, Diane Cummings

Continuity Notes

  1. This story references the Bob’s adventures with the Living Colossus in Astonishing Tales #21-24, but the creature also previously appeared in Tales of Suspense #14 and 20. The Colossus was seemingly destroyed by the Hulk in Incredible Hulk #244.

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Topical References

  • Wonder Man crashes onto two movie sets of movies that were made at the time of this story. We also see the lead actors of these films as well. They should be considered topical as they are dated references. These films are:

    • Home Alone: A family comedy about a child being left home alone during the Christmas holidays and ends up defending his home from a pair of burglars. This film launched the career of child actor Macaulay Culkin.

    • Batman Returns: Made in 1992 it was the sequel to the popular 1989 film Batman. Both films starred Michael Keaton.

  • When getting cussed out by “Macaulay Culkin”, Wonder Man is said to look like actor Don Johnson best known for his roles on Miami Vice and Nash Bridges. I don’t really see the resemblance myself but whatever. This should be considered a topical reference given that Johnson (as I write this in October, 2022) is in his 70s.

  • When fighting with the Living Colossus, Wonder Man compares it to the animatronics in the 1978 remake of King Kong produced by Dino Di Laurentis, as well as Godzilla. This should be considered a topical reference as these were examples that were relevant of the time. These days, giant monsters are created using CGI, not animatronics. The reference to Godzilla should be topical since Wonder Man is referring to the movies not the actual monster that exists in the Marvel Universe.

  • At one point, Wonder Man quips “I wonder if Mel Gibson ever has days like this?” At the time of this story, Mel Gibson was at the height of his career and was best known for appearing in action films such as the Lethal Weapon series. This should be considered topical since is in his 60s as I write this and no longer does action roles.

Supplementary Material

  • This issue, like all annuals released in 1993, came polybagged with a trading card of the new character introduced in the issue. In this case, it includes a card featuring Hit Maker.

Wonder Man (vol. 2) #24

Wonder Man (vol. 2) #24

Wonder Man (vol. 2) #25

Wonder Man (vol. 2) #25