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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Dark Reign: Young Avengers #5

Dark Reign: Young Avengers #5

Young Masters, Part 5

The Young Avengers — Patriot (Eli Bradley), Hulkling (Teddy Altman), Wiccan (Billy Kaplan), Stature (Cassie Lang), Hawkeye (Kate Bishop), Vision (Jonas), and Speed (Tommy Shepherd) — have been testing out another group of teenage superheroes — Melter (Chris Colchiss), Coat of Arms (Lisa Molinari), Enchantress (Sylvie Lushton), Executioner (Danny DuBois), Big Zero (Amity Hunter), and Egghead — that have been using their name. Called into a final meeting thinking they were discussing why the potential recruits washed out, they discover that it was actually a trap. The Melter and his group have formed an alliance with Norman Osborn who has sent his Dark Avengers — Iron Patriot (Osborn himself), Wolverine (Daken), and Hawkeye (Bullseye) — to confront the Young Avengers.[1]

Osborn has come to tell the young heroes that the person who gets to decide who gets to call themselves Avengers now is him, and only him.[2] The Patriot and his team are disappointed that Melter and his crew went to Norman Osborn. He then tells them all that whoever is worthy of the name Avenger is whoever wins this battle and gives the “Avengers Assemble” battle cry.

Wiccan battles the Enchantress, who is angry at the Young Avengers for rejecting her from the team. However Billy tries to explain that they only did so after discovering what she really was. While the Executioner and Bullseye squabble over who gets to kill Hawkeye. At the same time Wolverine tries to use his pheromone attacks on Hulking, but they have no effect on him.[3] The Vision takes on his equal, the android Egghead who downloaded the data about Enchantress to lure the Young Avengers into this fight. Lastly, Stature fights Big Zero, something she does with zeal due to Amity’s racist beliefs. As she trounces Hunter, Cassie boasts how her team is the legacy of Captain America and Iron Man.[4] Lastly, Speed fights with Melter, matching his super speed against his foe’s melting powers. The whole time this is happening, Coat of Arms watches from the sidelines, uncertain of how to act.

That’s when the Iron Patriot gets tired of the fight and begins blasting everyone in range. Patriot, who is furious that Osborn has co-opted Iron Man’s technology and Captain America’s flag, engages with the Iron Patriot directly, but all he does is potentially break his hand hitting Norman’s armored face. This disillusions the Melter who thought that Osborn would straighten this all out, but he is as bad as his own team. Norman, however, has an ace in the hole and calls another member of his team, the Sentry (Bob Reynolds).

While everyone is distracted, Wiccan explains that the Big Zero scanned the Enchantress and discovered that her powers were derived by Loki as some kind of trick.[5] However, she can rise above her villainous origins like so many other Avengers have in the past.[6] Unfortunately, Billy is then blasted by the Sentry. Coat of Arms comes to his side and uses her magic coat to pull a mystic chain that binds the Sentry while Billy casts a spell to cast the god-like entity to another dimension, taking him out of the fight. This convinces Melter he joined the wrong team if the Young Avengers were able to kill the Sentry. Patriot corrects him, saying the Young Avengers don’t kill and that’s the difference between their team and his.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye is holding her own against Bullseye, who decides to use his old playing card trick to try and kill her. The whole time he is mocking the Executioner and reveals that he had just killed his mother, the criminal known as Princess Python.[7] Furious over having the truth revealed in such a way, Danny shoots Bullseye in the leg. When Kate tries to get Danny to stop he pulls away and starts shooting at her, saying that his team are not their students, but the Young Avengers’ masters. Disillusioned by the whole ordeal, Melter decides that his team needs to get out of there and figure out their next move and has the Enchantress teleport them all away, leaving the Young and Dark Avengers to deal with themselves.

However, with their primary objective gone, the Iron Patriot stops fighting. He tells the Young Avengers that he controls Avengers history and he’ll make sure that nobody knows about this loss and leaves with his team.

Later, in a new Invisible Mansion, Coat of Arms wakes up from a strange dream where cartoon versions of herself and the Green Goblin are dancing together. She then tells herself that at least she got to dream it and goes back to sleep…

Recurring Characters

Young Avengers (Patriot, Hulkling, Wiccan, Stature, Hawkeye, Vision, Speed), “Young Avengers” (Melter, Coat of Arms, Enchantress, Executioner, Big Zero, Egghead), Dark Avengers (Iron Patriot, Wolverine, Hawkeye, Sentry)

Continuity Notes

  1. Yadda, yadda, yadda, the last four issues.

  2. At the time of this story, Norman Osborn has become the head of national security after he killed the leader of a Skrull invasion of Earth in Secret Invasion #8. A role he will maintain until Siege #4.

  3. When Daken jokes about Hulkling being the son of the Hulk, Teddy says his parentage is much more complicated. He is referring to the fact that he is the son of Skrull Princess Anelle and Kree soldier Captain Marvel. See Young Avengers #9-12.

  4. At the time of this story, Captain America is believed dead following the events of Captain America (vol. 5) #25. In reality, he was shot with a chronal bullet and is living his entire life in a loop a purgatory he will remain in until Captain America: Reborn #1-7. On the other hand, Iron Man’s entire empire and SHIELD leadership crumbled during the Skrull invasion in Secret Invasion #1-8. He was made a scapegoat for the invasion and has been on the run from Norman Osborn’s new regime ever since, as seen in Invincible Iron Man #8-19.

  5. We learned that Loki had a hand in creating the Enchantress last issue.

  6. The various Avengers with checkered pasts that Wiccan mentions here are:

    • His twin brother Speed who was broken out of a juvenile detention center in Young Avengers #10.

    • The original Hawkeye, aka Clint Barton, who was roped into being a criminal by the Black Widow in Tales of Suspense #57. He eventually sought to reform and became a member of the second incarnation of the team back in Avengers #16.

    • Lastly, he mentions the Swordsman (Jacques DuQuesne) who started off as a villain in Avengers #19. He later reformed in Avengers #114.

  7. Princess Python was seemingly killed in a car bomb explosion last issue. However, she will turn up alive again in Secret Avengers #21.1 through unexplained circumstance (time of this writing in May, 2024). Per Avengers (vol. 8) #55, she may have cheated death due to the fact that she was later revealed to worship the demon Mephisto.

Dark Reign: Young Avengers #4

Dark Reign: Young Avengers #4