64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America #383

Captain America #383

I Am Legend

It’s been a quiet couple of days for Captain America, so when reports of a man in a cape brandishing the scythe was reporting running amok in the city, he decides to go and check it out. He quickly catches up with the madman who calls himself Father Timer, who encourages Cap to give him chase. When the Avenger tosses his shield at the fleeing old man, he some how opens a portal that swallows up the weapon. Father Time then leaps into the portal as well. Not sure how this man was able to open a dimensional portal, Steve reports back to Peggy Carter to tell him he’s entering the portal. The moment he passes through it closes and Cap finds himself falling through a white void…

Eventually, Captain America comes through the other side and finds himself in a lush forest. There he is impossibly greeted by Johnny Appleseed who offers him a fresh apple. Asking Johnny if he’s seen the Father Time, Appleseed tells him that the only old man he knows lives up on a nearby mountain. Steve decides to investigate this and is about to mark a young apple tree so he can find his way back to this spot. Johnny scolds him as he sees every apple tree as a child and offers to set up a ring of stone around it instead.

Once reaching the other side of the trees that resemble an Ohio forest opens up to a sudden change of topography, a stretch of desert that would look at home in the Texas Panhandle or New Mexico. Off in the distance is a mountain range a few days walk away. Pressing onward, Cap is caught off guard when a cattle stampede suddenly appears behind him. He manages to avoid getting trampled down when suddenly he is approached by the legendary cowboy Pecos Bill. Bill offers to ride Captain America to the mountain range but he gets sidetracked by the sudden appearance of tornado. Just as the legends tell, Pecos can’t resist the urge to ride into and tame the whirlwind. Steve has no intention of getting involved in some kind of suicidal act and leaps off the horse and gets down low so he can brave the powerful winds.

Once the tornado passes and everything settles, Steve looks up and is surprised to see a railroad track in front of him. He follows alongside the tracks until he comes upon John Henry hammering away at rail spikes. A man of few words, Henry confirms that the “old man” he seeks is at the top of the nearby mountain. John likens Captain America’s journey to that of Moses in the Bible, telling him that the Lord is everywhere. Pressing onward, Cap finds himself in yet another forest, this one vastly different than the one where he encountered Johnny Appleseed. Here he runs into Paul Bunyan who is amused to hear Cap tell the legends about himself. The massive giant offers to help Captain America on the final stretch to the mountain and gives him a boost up the side.

Cap climbs for hours and it is nightfall by the time he reaches the top. There he’s shocked to discover Uncle Sam waiting for him by the fire. Captain America can’t understand why he keeps on running into these iconic legends of American history. Uncle Sam explains that this land is the Legendary America where those who have reached legendary status to live out their idealized lives for all eternity. He goes on to say that the reason why Captain America has been brought here is because Father Time has decided that it is his time to cross over. Cap rejects this plan, refusing to leave the real America behind because he has so much more work to do. That’s when Father Time appears and insists that this is where Captain America belongs. Steve refuses to remain without a fight and attacks Father Time thinking that this is all some kind of trick created by one of his many foes. Father Time reveals that all of this is real and that he is actually one of the Elders of the Universe. In the ensuing brawl, Cap manages to knock Father Time’s scythe over the edge. The Elder then uses his power to make Steve start rapidly aging. However, he refuses to surrender and keeps fighting despite the fact that his body is withering away with each passing moment. Seeing that Captain America won’t accept his gift, Father Time kicks him off the edge of the cliff and he falls into the black abyss below.

Suddenly, Captain America finds himself back in the New York alley with Father Time fleeing him on foot again. Steve decides to deal with his foe differently this time. Rather than trying to throw his shield at Father Time’s back, he aims for his feet hoping to trip him up. The ploy works but when Captain America finally catches up to Father Time and rips off his hood he is shocked to discover that it is Hawkeye in disguise. Clint explains that he has been masquerading around as Father Time to lure Cap away from Avenger Headquarters for a bit. When he returns to headquarters with Hawkeye, Steve is delighted to see that his friends have prepared a surprise party celebrating the anniversary of his becoming Captain America.[1] Steve is touched even though most of the decades he has been Captain America were spent in suspended animation until the Avengers freed him.[2] As he blows out the candles, Steve thinks about his encounter with Father time. He isn’t sure if it was all real or not, but hopes he’ll find out the truth when it really is time to lay down his shield and go to wherever legends go when they retire.[3]

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Father Time, Falcon, Fabian Stankowycz, Peggy Carter, Michael O’Brien, John Jameson, Bernie Rosenthal, Avengers (Iron Man, Thor, Henry Pym, Wasp, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Vision, Wonder Man, She-Hulk, Sersi, Quasar)

Continuity Notes

  1. Steve was first transformed into Captain America back in the early days of World War II as detailed in Captain America Comics #1. Adventures of Captain America #1 states that Steve underwent the process to become Captain America in March of 1941. This story states that Steve has been Captain America for 50 years, this should be considered topical. See below for more details.

  2. In 1945, Steve ended up getting getting caught in a drone plane explosion which sent him into freezing arctic waters, putting him in suspended animation. He was found and revived by the Avengers many decades later in the early days of the Modern Age. See Avengers #4.

  3. Father Time is indeed a real guy and at least some of what Captain America experienced in this story did happen. This can be determined by virtue of the fact that Father Time was later seen among the other Elders of the Universe in Contest of Champions #6.

Topical References

  • Here, the heroes are celebrating Captain America’s 50th Anniversary. This should be considered a topical reference relative to the date of publication. Due to the Sliding Timescale the number of years Steve Rogers has been Captain America is always in a state of flux. As the Modern Age is pushed forward, the gulf of time between the birth of Captain America and the start of the Modern Age will continue to grow longer. For example, at the time of this writing (July, 2022), Steve has been Captain America for over 80 years. Click here on how to compute the math on this.

Fighting Side by Side with Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos

In Nazi occupied France, Captain America and Bucky have been assigned on a mission to learn why the Germans are moving their slave labor to this region. They stake out the side of a country road and ambush a slave transport truck. After dispatching the Nazis, the pair discover that one of the passengers is a member of the Hitler Youth. Lucky the kid is roughly the same size as Bucky and so the two decide to continue their investigation incognito with Bucky posing as the Hitler Youth and Cap pretending to be one of the prisoners. It is in this disguise that Bucky learns of the Nazi’s plan. Called Operation: Einfall, the Germans are planning to bore a secret underground tunnel as part of an invasion of England.

Up the coast, Nick Fury and his Howling Commandos are clashing with Nazi forces on the beach in order to make their rendezvous with Captain America. Fury and his boys manage to take control of a Germany artillery cannon and use it to smash the opposition. They then press forward to a nearby railyard just as a train full of slaves is leaving the station. While Pinky Pinkerton keeps Nazi forces at bay, Fury and Rebel Ralston manage to get aboard the train and get into one of the cattle cars where the prisoners are being kept. To maintain the element of surprise, Fury and Rebel roll up their machine guns in blankets and pose as prisoners of war.

When the train arrives at the next station and the prisoners offloaded, Steve Rogers notices that Nick Fury and Rebel Ralston are among the prisoners. Seeing the Nazi’s operation, Fury quickly deduces what’s going on. When Steve is singled out and ordered to report to another part of the site to work, Fury tries to offer up his hidden machine gun. Steve thanks Fury for the offer, but declines saying he can look after himself without it. While Nick and Ralston are being ferried into the Nazi tunnel, Steve meets back up with Bucky and the pair find cover to change back into costume.

They then ambush the Nazis in the tunnel and help free Nick and Rebel. They then fight their way through the tunnel where an emergency self-destruct switch is located. Cap then sends Fury and Rebel to the surface while he sets the tunnel to explode. He and Bucky manage to escape the flooding tunnel into the English Channel where a submarine is waiting to pick them up. When Bucky wonders what happened to Fury, Cap assures his young partner that the Howling Commandos are brave men and that they’ll always be around when America needs defending,.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Bucky, Howling Commandos (Nick Fury, Dum Dum Dugan, Izzy Cohen, Gabe Jones, Percy Pinkerton, Rebel Ralston, Dino Manelli), Nazis

Continuity Notes

  1. This story is a retelling of an original tale first published in Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos #13, which featured Cap’s “first meeting” of Nick Fury and his Howling Commandos. This tale takes place circa 1942. Cap and Bucky actually met Fury much earlier in 1941 as seen in Wolverine: Origins #17-20. Since that was a covert mission where Fury was operating in secret in order for the Allies to maintain plausible deniability, a probably explanation that Cap, Bucky, and Fury are acting like they are meeting for the first time in this story.

Differences

As stated above, this story is a retelling of events first depicted in Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos #13. However, there are a differences between the two tales:

  • For example, the first fifteen pages of Sgt. Fury #13 are omitted from this story. Those pages are a lot of set up, explaining the series of events that led to the meeting between Cap and the Howling Commandos.

  • The original story also doesn’t explain how Cap and Bucky get to posing as a prisoner and Hitler youth respectively. On page 12 of the original story they are helping a group of soldiers escape a Nazi occupied town, the next on page 16 they are already in disguise aboard the Nazi train.

  • The original account also has Fury and Rebel encounter Steve Rogers in the cattle car. Whereas the story above has them encounter Steve at the next station over.

  • The new version of this story also has Bucky find out about Operation: Einfall while posing as Hitler Youth. Whereas the original tale has Fury deduce the situation when observing the equipment that the Nazis are loading onto the train.

  • In the original tale, Cap is briefly injured after getting caught in the blast of a German grenade but quickly recovers.

  • The new version of this tale also omits the original story’s epilogue which shows Fury, Rebel, Steve, and Bucky all being sent to the same military hospital to recover from their injuries.

How does one account for the different tales? I think this is a case of the the differences between the two tales being the result of the narrative framing. The original story was almost entirely framed from the perspective of Nick Fury and the Howling Commandos, while this retelling is focused more on Captain America and Bucky. The differences between the two could be chalked up to how the individuals remember the events unfolding. Perhaps the original tale is how Fury remembers things while this one is Captain America’s recollection.

Man of Straw

US Agent, aka John Walker, has come to the grave of his former friend, Hector Lennox, to ensure that his friend is indeed dead. As John goes about the grisly task of digging up the grave with his shield he thinks back to the events that led him to this investigation.

He remembers back to when he and his partner Lemar Hostkins were selected to become the government’s new Captain America and Battlestar. In order to take the job, they had to cut ties with their friends Hector and Jerome Johnson as the pair did not pass a security background check.[1] Bitter by this, Hector and Jerome reinvented themselves as Left-Winger and Right-Winger. The pair then used these identities to leak John’s true identity to the public.[2] This prompted the terrorists known as the Watchdogs to kidnap and murder John’s parents in retribution.[3] Blaming the Wingers for what happened, John tracked them down and left them tied up to a burning oil drum which then exploded.[3] John recalls back to that time and remembers how he felt a perverse joy in watching his former friends suffer. Thanks to the strength augmentation process Hector and Jerome underwent, John was told they survived although they suffered burns over 90% of their bodies.

More recently, when fighting Immortus’ Legion of the Unliving alongside the Avengers West Coast, US Agent fought two men claiming to be Left-Winger and Right-Winger. He remembers laughing when the pair ended up impaling each other as he wasn’t entirely convinced that these were the real Hector and Jerome.[4] Still, the incident left lingering doubts in Walker’s mind and when he returned home he decided to investigate things further.

By this time, John has dug down to Hector’s coffin and looks inside. He is greeted by the horribly burned corpse of his former friend. This traumatizes him deeply as it confirms what he was told earlier. After his encounter with Immortus, John went to the hospital that treated Hector and Jerome after they were burned. The doctor there explains, in horrific detail, the damage done to the pair. Unable to stand the constant pain they were suffering, the pair chose to commit suicide, something hospital staff were unable to stop due to their enhanced strength. John didn’t buy this initially, thinking that his friends somehow faked their deaths, but after digging up Hector’s occupied grave everything is cemented into a horrifying reality.[5]

The full scope of what he had done to two men he considered to be brothers is John’s final breaking point. He flees the cemetery, desperate to find someone to talk to and come up with a way to repent for his sins. He ends up in a farmer’s field next to a scarecrow where he decides that the only person he can beg for atonement is God. Unfortunately, his cries of anguish go unheard and his demands for a sign are unanswered. That’s when he notices a cigarette lighter on the ground next to the scarecrow and takes this as a sign that he should burn himself alive just as he had done to Hector and Jerome. However, for whatever reasons the lighter won’t work and he tosses it away in anger and frustration. Mulling this suicidal display over in his mind, John convinces himself that the malfunctioning lighter was the sign he was looking for. He then vows that rather than end his own life he will do a better job at being a hero so he can make up for what he has done.

Recurring Characters

US Agent

Continuity Notes

  1. John Walker started his career as the Super-Patriot in Captain America #323. Joining him were Lemar Hoskins, Hector Lennox, and Jerome Johnson who were his Bold Urban Commandos. When John was selected to become the next Captain America in issue #333, the Commission on Superhuman Affairs only cleared Lemar to be his partner, saying that Hector and Jerome failed their background check. FYI, Walker remained Captain America until issue #350 when he gave it back to Steve Rogers, he became US Agent in issue #354.

  2. Hector and Jerome became Left-Winger and Right-Winger and spilled their guts on John’s true identity in Captain America #341.

  3. John, as Captain America, had previously foiled a Watchdog operation in Captain America #335. They retaliated by killing his parents in Captain America #345.

  4. Left-Winger and Right-Winger were tracked down and blown up in Captain America #347.

  5. Left-Winger and Right-Winger were selected to become members of Immortus’ Legion of the Unliving in Avengers West Coast #61. The usual MO in these cases is that Legion members are plucked out of time moments before their death and put back where they belong when Immortus is done with them. This was first explained in Avengers #131/Giant-Size Avengers #3.

  6. As of this writing (July, 2022) Hector and Jerome have remained deceased.

Bad to the Bone

In the Swiss Alps, a group of men are climbing up the side of the mountain to investigate Arnim Zola’s castle. When reaching the structure, they discover that it is armed with weapons, explaining why other climbers have mysteriously perished when trying to reach it.

Inside the castle, Zola himself is meeting with the Red Skull, who just recently had his mind transferred into a cloned body created by Captain America’s DNA.[1] The Skull is about to head off to begin his latest scheme when they become aware of the intruders climbing the castle walls. Zola is undisturbed by this as he regularly has to repel invaders trying to steal his secrets and sends his creation, the pliant Doughboy, to deal with them.

Rather than leave the scene, the Red Skull becomes interest in watching the fight and witnesses one of the intruder’s unwillingness to give up in the face of an unbeatable foe. In fact, even when his compatriots are being swallowed up and smothered to death, this man continues to fight to free them. Impressed by his loyalty, the Red Skull orders Zola to spare the man and one of his other compatriots to learn who sent them and why.

Dawning his trademark mask, the Red Skull interrogates the man who risked his life for his compatriots. He insists that they were sent by the Red Skull.[2] The real Skull refuses to believe this but decides to see if the man is willing to fight for his life. Stripped of their clothing the pair fight it out in an arena constructed out of Doughboy’s body. Although the Skull — thanks to the Super Soldier Serum in his veins — is able to defeat the other man in combat. However, rather than kill him, the Red Skull decides to hire him to be his bodyguard since he has displayed an unwavering loyalty. The mystery man accepts the offer and the Red Skull informs him that from this point forward he will be called Crossbones!

Recurring Characters

Red Skull, Crossbones, Arnim Zola, Doughboy

Continuity Notes

  1. This story takes place shortly after the Red Skull’s original body died of old age in Captain America #300. As revealed in issue #350, the Skull’s mind was downloaded into a cloned body created by Arnim Zola using DNA taken from Captain America. This is a similar technology Zola used to ensure Adolf Hitler could cheat death as well, see Super-Villain Team-Up #17 for details on that.

  2. This other Red Skull is not explained here. Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #3’s profile on Crossbones confirms that he was hired by Albert Malik, the communist Red Skull who first appeared in Young Men #24. The profile entry states that Brock Rumlow was hired out of the Taskmaster’s training camp. This will finally get depicted in Captain America and Crossbones #1.

Captain America #382

Captain America #382

Captain America #384

Captain America #384