64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America #382

Captain America #382

Why Does it Always Have to be Snakes?

Captain America is looking for his girlfriend Diamondback who has gone missing. Going to her apartment he finds Anaconda, Puff Adder, and Rock Python waiting in ambush. Overpowered by the trio, Captain America is tossed off the roof of the building while the members of the Serpent Society flee. Luckily, Captain America is able to use his shield to break the worst of his fall. Steve is picked up by his assistant, John Jameson, who has just activated a translocator so they can follow the three snakes back to their base.

Meanwhile, back at the Serpent Society hideout, King Cobra contacts his minions out on the field and tells them to return because they have finally caught Diamondback.[1] He then returns to the training room where he has Diamondback prisoner along with her allies Asp, Black Mamba, and Paladin. Diamondback has been exposed King Cobra’s snake venom and is slowly dying. The Serpent Society leader to torment Paladin over the women’s impending death.

By this time, Captain America has taken to the air in his sky-cycle and by following the translocator signal finds a Serpent Saucer en route back to the Society’s hideout. He hitches a ride aboard the ship. Once it is inside the hidden docking bay he attacks its occupants — Cottonmouth and Fer-De-Lance. He makes short work of them and the Society’s support crew and leaves them tied up while he goes looking for Diamondback. However, as he searches the halls the Star-Spangled Avenger is ambushed by Bushwhacker.

At that same moment, in Brooklyn Heights, Bernie Rosenthal meets with her friend and neighbor Mike Farrell. She talks to him about how she still has feelings for Steve Rogers and how she wants to try and win him back.[2] Mike suggests that she be proactive in her approach as she could be waiting a long time for Steve to make the first move. As they are winding down for the evening, Bernie picks up their dishes and brings them to the sink. There she sees a note about a meeting at a dog pound at 8 pm. Bernie thinks that Mike is getting a dog and when he asks him about it, Mike quickly explains that the dog isn’t for him but a co-worker who wanted some help picking one out. Bernie is worried that Mike seems a little flustered about the line of questioning.[3]

Back at the Serpent’s hideout, Captain America struggles with Bushmaster who duty bound to kill the Avenger even though Cap has saved his life in the past.[4] Cap land a knock out punch that lays out Bushmaster and he presses onward. when he finds Rachel and the other tied up in the gym he falls into the trap set for him by King Cobra. The leader of the Serpent Society lunges at him from the ceiling. In the ensuing scuffle, Captain America bluffs Cobra by saying that the Avengers are waiting outside, especially Thor. Hearing the name of his old enemy puts enough fear into King Cobra that he flees the room.[5] Freeing the tied up prisoners, Cap learns how Diamondback has been poisoned and that Black Mamba knows where to find the antidote.

However, before they can retrieve it, King Cobra returns with Black Racer, Coachwhip, and Rattler, after deducing that Captain America was bluffing about the Avengers. Cap hands off Rachel to Black Mamba and instructs her to get the antidote while he, Paladin, and Asp deal with the Serpent Society. As the trio fight off their attackers, Coachwhip goes after Black Mamba and Diamondback. She catches up with them just as they find the antidote and lashes them both with her electrified whip. Even though she is suffering the effects of both snake venom and Coachwhip’s whip, Diamondback manages to knock her attacker out by tossing the syringe at her, striking Coachwhip in the forehead.

Soon, Cap and the others defeat the Serpent Society members and the authorities are called. Rachel makes a complete recovery thanks to the antidote and, is surprised that Cap isn’t turning in Black Mamba or Asp, something they argued over when talking about taking down the Serpent Society. She is still mad at him however, and when Paladin reminds her that they agreed on a date as part of his payment she leaves with him, even though she is doing so to get a rise out of Captain America he doesn’t even flinch.

A half hour later, Steve Rogers returns to Avengers Headquarters. He is exhausted after being awake for over a day. He knows that Diamondback is trying to upset him and its working. That’s when Jarvis contacts him and says that there is a guest waiting for him at the door. Steve thinks this is Rachel and rushes to greet her. However, he is surprised to see that the visitor is actually Bernie Rosenthal, his ex-girlfriend, who has come bearing a bouquet of roses.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Diamondback, Serpent Society (King Cobra, Anaconda, Black Racer, Bushmaster, Coachwhip, Cottonmouth, Fer-De-Lance, Puff Adder, Rattler, Rock Python), Black Mamba, Asp, Paladin, Bernie Rosenthal, Mike Farrel, Guardsmen

Continuity Notes

  1. Rachel has been spied upon by the Serpent Society since Captain America #372. She was a founding member of the group in Captain America #310, but drifted away from the group in issue #344 due to a growing infatuation with Captain America and decided to go straight. She and Cap began officially dating in Captain America #371. She was kidnapped by the Serpent Society in Captain America #379 and put on trail in issue #380. She was captured last issue.

  2. Steve Rogers’ relationship with Bernie Rosenthal grew to be quite serious. Steve and Bernie began dating shortly thereafter in issue #251. Bern figured out his double-identity in Captain America #275-276. Although Bernie proposed to him in issue #292, his duties as Captain America drove a wedge and Bernie ultimately decided to leave New York to pursue her legal career in issue #317. The two drifted apart shortly thereafter. Bernie also returned to New York issue #380.

  3. It’s later revealed in Captain America #385-386 that Mike has joined up with the Watchdogs, a home grown terrorist organization that seeks to impose their morality for the sake of saving American society. They’re a bunch of far right nutjobs basically.

  4. Here, Bushmaster mentions when Cap save his life in Captain America #342. He also worries about having his cybernetic arm wrenched out of its socket, which happened to him before in issue #313. If you’re curious as to how Bushmaster became a cyborg the tale is told in Captain America Annual #10.

  5. The reason why the Cobra is afraid of Thor is because when he first came on the scene he clashed with the thunder god on a number of occasions early in his career. See Journey into Mystery #98, 105-106, and 110-111.

Thanks for the Memories

John Walker, aka US Agent, has learned that his government handlers altered his memories prior to placing him in his new identity, making him forget much of his past.[1] Upon finding out the truth he has demanded that they use the same brainwashing technique to recover his lost memories. Over the past few hours Walker has been rediscovering his past…

He is now remembering events shortly after he took over the mantle of Captain America. He and his partner Battlestar were making a public appearance. It was crashed by Left-Winger and Right-Winger — aka Hector Lennox and Jerome Johnson, former friends of John and Lemar — who then leaked John’s true identity.[2] When word reached the Watchdogs, a homegrown terrorist organization that he previously clashed with, they kidnapped his parents.[3] When John, as Captain America, came to save them he agreed to be hung by a noose in order to save their lives. John’s augmented strength prevented a hanging from being lethal and quickly broke free and attacked the Watchdogs. However, in the ensuing firefight his parents were mowed down by enemy fire and died.[4]

Blaming Hector and Jerome for what happened, he tracked the pair down and left them tied up to a massive oil drum compromised by an open flame. The resulting explosion didn’t kill the pair thanks to their own enhanced strength but they were left with 90% of their bodies horrifically burned. John faced recriminations for this unsanctioned action and was threatened with expulsion.[5] However, this transgression was all but forgotten when John helped take down the terrorist organization known as ULTIMATUM.[6] However, it was a later clash with the Red Skull alongside the real Captain America that John realized he was unfit for the role and gave it back to him.[7] However, John and General Lewis Hayworth came up with a detailed plan to fake John’s assassination in order to place him in the new identity of US Agent.[8]

Hayworth has been monitoring John’s trip down memory lane this whole time and when they reach this point he instructs the doctor to make one minor alteration to John’s true memories. As it turns out, John was against a certain aspect of the brainwashing process — being made to forget that his parents are dead. Hayworth has the doctor alter this memory to make John believe that he was actually in support of this move in order to avoid further problems with US Agent.

With the process complete, John is woken up and he thanks General Hayworth for restoring his old memories. Unaware that his true memories were still slightly altered, John tells them that he only would have consented having his memories of his parents wiped out because he was under the influence of the brainwashing drugs. As US Agent leaves, the doctor who altered these memories is relieved that the process worked.

Recurring Characters

US Agent, Lewis Hayworth.

Continuity Notes

  1. This is a bit of a long story that started when the government chose John Walker to become the new Captain America in issue #333. Walker didn’t pan out and Steve Rogers was given back the role in Captain America #350.

  2. Left-Winger and Right-Winger exposed John Walker’s secret identity to the public in Captain America #341.

  3. John, as Captain America, had previously infiltrated and attempted to dismantle the Watchdogs in Captain America #335.

  4. The Watchdogs retaliated against John and killed his parents in issue #345.

  5. John took his anger out on Hector and Jerome in Captain America #347.

  6. John’s battle with ULTIMATUM was chronicled in Captain America #348-349.

  7. The clash with Red Skull with Steve Rogers and John’s decision to give up being Captain America happened in issue #350.

  8. John faked his death in Captain America #351 and underwent the brainwashing process in issue #354.

Captain America #381

Captain America #381

Captain America #383

Captain America #383