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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

New Avengers #5

New Avengers #5

Breakout!, Part 5

Following a break out at the Raft Prison,[1] the New Avengers — Captain America (Steve Rogers), Iron Man (Tony Stark), Luke Cage, Spider-Man (Peter Parker), and Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew)[2] — have traveled to the Savage Land to recapture Sauron (Karl Lykos) one of the escapees. The team narrowly avoids a crash landing when their Quinjet is trashed by a tyrannosaurus rex. When Iron Man engages the dinosaur, he allows himself to be swallowed by the creature so he can blow it apart from the inside with his repulsar rays. He does this before the astonished eyes of Captain America and Spider-Man. That’s Spider-Man wonders where Luke and Spider-Woman had run off to.

The pair had fled into the jungle when the t-rex hit where Jessica was ambushed by Wolverine (Logan). With his claws at her throat, she quickly zaps him with a venom blast before flipping Logan on his back and stabbing him in the throat with his own claws. This only makes Wolverine angry. With his healing factor kicking in, he knocks Jessica off of him and is about to attack when Luke finally steps in to restrain him. That’s when the others catch up and further try to diffuse the situation. As his throat wound heals, Wolverine explains that he was being tracked and attacked Spider-Woman because he couldn’t take any chases. As it turns out, Logan is looking for Karl Lykos as well. Apparently, one of Spider-Man’s old foes — the Scorcher — had tipped off the X-Men that Lykos and a few of the Savage Land Mutates were looking to charter a plane back to the Savage Land.[3] With the rest of the X-Men busy, Logan decided to go by himself to the Savage Land to investigate. His plane crashed and he has had Mutates on his trail for the last six hours.

When Wolverine begins asking why the others are here, they are suddenly ambushed by an army of savage Mutates.[4] Before they can defend themselves, the New Avengers discover that their powers are suddenly not working.[5] Moments later, they succumb to the disorientating power of the Mutate known as Vertigo. When the heroes wake up, they discover that they have been stripped naked and are suspended in the middle of the Mutates lair. They are greeted by their leader, Brainchild, who both compliments Iron Man’s technology, while looking forward to continuing his experiments on Spider-Man.[6]

Captain America cuts through all the chatter and demands to speak with Karl Lykos. Lykos makes an appearance and decides to hear Cap out. Steve tells Lykos to surrender, saying that his breakout was responsible for unleashing over 40 super criminals into the world. This bothers Brainchild, as their benefactors promised that nobody would come after them, but is not surprised that they have been betrayed by outsiders.

When Captain America orders Karl to surrender a second time, Lykos refuses. He tells them how he was incarcerated for refusing to hunt down and kill other mutants for the Weapon X program.[7] He then asks Logan to explain to the others what Weapon X is like. Wolverine has no sympathy for Lykos, angering him enough to order the Mutates to put the Avengers to death.[8] Brainchild wants to experiment on them, but Karl refuses to allow this. He wants their bodies dumped in other territories, letting slip that they are working with SHIELD to mine Vibranium.

This is exactly what Tony Stark was waiting for and gives the command for his Iron Man armor to activate its autonomous battle mode. It blasts the Brainchild’s computer, releasing the team from their restraints. They then drive off the Mutates so they can finally get dressed. As they try to make sense of the situation, Jessica can hardly believe that SHIELD is involved with this. That’s when the Mutates return for the counter attack. As the New Avengers are busy with them, Wolverine spots Lykos trying to make a run for it. Logan then lunges at him Karl, which proves to be a mistake as this allows him to drain Wolverine’s mutant life energy. This causes Karl Lykos to transform into his alter-ego, Sauron.

Sauron then uses his hypnotic powers to immobilize the New Avengers. However, before he can do anything, someone shoots him right between the eyes, seemingly killing him.[9] From the bush emerges the Black Widow (Yelena Belova) and a team of SHIELD agents. She orders her team to kill everyone and leave no survivors, including the Avengers!

Recurring Characters

New Avengers (Captain America, Iron Man, Luke Cage, Spider-Man, “Spider-Woman”), Wolverine, Sauron, Savage Land Mutates (Amphibius, Barbarus, Brainchild, Lupo, Whiteout, Worm), SHIELD (Black Widow)

Continuity Notes

  1. This breakout happened in New Avengers #1-2, with the team going to the Savage Land in issue #3.

  2. The woman who appears to be Spider-Woman here is actually a Skrull impostor named Veranke. She is part of a planned Skrull invasion of Earth which will takes place in Secret Invasion #1-8. Her duplicity is revealed in Secret Invasion #3. New Avengers #42 shows that she took Spider-Woman’s place circa Giant-Size Spider-Woman #1.

  3. The Scorcher (Steven Hudak) first fought Spider-Man back in Untold Tales of Spider-Man #1. Wolverine says that Hudak is trying to remain on the straight and narrow after their “Secret War” with Nick Fury. This is in reference to the events of Secret War #1-5, wherein it was uncovered that Fury recruited a team of heroes on a failed invasion of Latveria. Then ruler Lucia Von Bardas had just recently attempted to get revenge against those involved, using a number of tech based villains, including Scorcher. The Scorcher’s attempt to turn over a new leaf doesn’t keep, as he’ll be back to being a criminal when he appears in Last Defenders #1.

  4. Spider-Man asks what Mutates are. They are a group of Savage Land natives that were genetically altered by Magneto, as seen in X-Men #62.

  5. Spider-Man states here that his web-shooting is organic. Around this time, Peter Parker gained the ability to create his own webbing after using mechanical web-shooters for years as seen in Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #17-20. He will retain these abilities until they are taken away following the events of Amazing Spider-Man #545.

  6. Brainchild is referring to when he experimented upon Spider-Man in the past, briefly turning him into a humanoid spider creature. Check out Marvel Fanfare #1-4.

  7. Prior to his incarceration at the Raft, Sauron was an unwilling member of the Weapon X program as seen in Weapon X (vol. 2) #1-18. Here, Lykos refers to himself as a mutant, but he actually isn’t. As told in X-Men #59-60, Karl was bitten by a Savage Land pterodactyl and that somehow caused his transformations into Sauron. It is a common misconception that he is a mutant due to his association as a foe to the X-Men. Lykos calling himself a mutant here is likely because Karl isn’t always dealing with a full deck, if you catch my drift.

  8. Wolverine was part of the Weapon X program back in the day and was how his bones were originally coated in Adamantium. This classic tale can be read in Marvel Comics Presents #72-84.

  9. Sauron’s not really dead, as we’ll see next issue. As for Yelena Belova and the SHIELD agents seen here, New Avengers #41 reveals that these SHIELD agents were actually Skrulls. While never definitively proven, the Yelena Belova we see here is likely a Skrull impostor as well. This is because after being horribly burned next issue, then turned into an Adaptoid and seemingly killed, Belova appears alive and well (with no powers or burns) in Marvel Comics Presents (vol. 2) #5, which takes place after the Secret Invasion event.

Topical References

  • When Spider-Man asks what mutates are, Iron Man tells him to Google it when they get home. Google is the internet’s most popular search engine (as if I needed to tell you). While this is a real world company, the term “Google it” has come into popular use as short hand for looking something up on the internet. You could consider this to be a proprietary eponym and therefore not a topical reference.

  • Iron Man quips that his armor cost 7 billion dollars to make. This figure should be considered relative to the date of publication. Its cost would likely increase with inflation.

  • Yelena Belova doesn’t care if one of the heroes is Ronald McDonald. Ronald is the clown mascot of the McDonald’s fast food franchise. This should be considered topical as this is a real world reference.

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New Avengers #4

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New Avengers #6