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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

New Avengers #6

New Avengers #6

Breakout!, Part 6

After a massive breakout at the Raft prison,[1] the New Avengers — Captain America (Steve Rogers), Iron Man (Tony Stark), Spider-Man (Peter Parker), Luke Cage, Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew)[2] — and Wolverine had gone after Sauron (Karl Lykos) who had escaped captivity. The trail led them to the Savage Land where, after a battle with the Mutates that live there, uncovered that SHIELD was secretly and illegally mining the region’s Vibranium.

While battling Sauron, a team of SHIELD agents led by the Black Widow (Yelena Belova) showed up and shot the criminal between the eyes. With their conspiracy potentially exposed, Belova orders her troops to kill the Avengers. However, the troops are reluctant to open fire on Captain America. Spider-Woman also points out that she is an active SHIELD agent as well, making them even more reluctant to kill the intruders. This changes when Yelena shoots one of her own men in the head.

The Avengers scramble to stop them, but when Wolverine attempts to fatally stab Yelena with his Adamantium claws he is stopped by Captain America, as he doesn’t condone killing in any capacity. The fight is quickly ended when Iron Man uses his armor’s polar magnetic field to snatch away all of the weapons used by the SHIELD agents.[3] Spider-Woman then threatens to hit Yelena with a venom blast unless she reveals who hired her to do this. Belova cryptically claims to be working for the same people that Jessica is.[4] Before they can get straight answers out of her, Sauron — who is still alive — suddenly lunges as Yelena and immolates her with his fire breath. As the Avengers work to take Sauron down again, the Black Widow flees into the jungle.

Soon, Sauron is knocked out and reverts back to his human form, Karl Lykos. Wolverine apologizes to the others, since it appears that Sauron survived by absorbing some of Logan’s healing factor. When they debate going after the Widow, Wolverine figures she is unlikely to survive being burned that badly. The decision is taken out of their hands when pterodactyls start circling overhead. With a SHIELD transport 4 km away, the group decides to get moving so they can get out of the Savage Land once and for all.[5] As they make the long walk, Iron Man’s ion-board computer identifies 21 one inconsistencies on the record of Raft escapees. However, before he can tell his teammates what he has found on file, they come upon the SHIELD camp. They are horrified to discover that the SHIELD agents there are using Savage Land natives as slave labor to mine Vibranium. This is horrific since Vibranium based weaponry is illegal all over the world. This leads to the question of who is responsible for this conspiracy and why. While nobody has answers, Captain America knows that they have to stop them.

As the New Avengers charge on the scene, both Spider-Man and Wolverine detect danger from above. It is in the form of long range missiles. Luckily, Iron Man is able to put up a force field around himself and his teammates before they hit. Unfortunately, the SHIELD operation, the people involved, and any possible evidence, is completely obliterated. As the smoke clears and the heroes recover from the blast, they look up to see the SHIELD helicarrier appearing in the sky above. Once they are aboard the massive ship, Captain America confronts Deputy Director Maria Hill and tells her that he will see her hang for this. Hill explains that they upon discovering this illegal operation they were given orders to retaliate immediately. She makes no apologies for doing what she did, telling the Avengers that she warned them to stand down and they didn’t listen. Wolverine then tells the others that — according to his senses — Hill seem to be telling the truth, but admits that SHIELD agents are specially trained to lie convincingly enough to throw him off.[6]

The Avengers are rightfully pissed off, but when Maria Hill leaves to pilot the helicarrier back to America, Iron Man tells them to forget about this conspiracy for a moment. This is because his computers have detected something important about the criminals that busted out of the Raft. His computers have discovered that someone had altered the records that they were given. Cross-referencing with the old Avengers database, Tony was able to determine that at least 14 of the inmates incarcerated there were listed as legally dead, suggesting that they were being secretly detained as a stockpile of superhumans for some nefarious purpose.[8] Captain America realizes that they have taken on more than they bargained and offers his new recruits an out if this is too much for them. When Logan finally asks what’s going on, Tony offers him a spot on the New Avengers team if he wants it.

This prompts Cap to pull Stark aside to talk about that. He is reluctant to work with Wolverine because he is a murderer. Tony points out that the team is missing an extra ingredient to work, likening this need like when the original team found and recruited Captain America.[8] In this new and deadly world, Logan is what this team needs, especially after the incident with the Scarlet Witch.[9] Steve doesn’t think Logan will join because of his commitment to the X-Men, but Stark thinks he can convince Logan to do both.[10] Captain America reluctantly agrees to this, but admits that he has never had to accept such a grim reality since World War II.

Elsewhere, Yelena Belova survived being lit on fire but was horribly burned in the process. Recovering in a hospital room, she is approached by someone who has heard about her situation and offers her a chance at getting her pretty face back and getting revenge. Belova accepts the offer without a moment’s hesitation.[11]

Recurring Characters

New Avengers (Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-Man, Luke Cage, “Spider-Woman”, Wolverine), SHIELD (Maria Hill, Black Widow), Sauron, Connley (unidentified)

Continuity Notes

  1. Recapping the last five issues, naturally. What our heroes don’t know is that this is all part of a covert operation by the Skrulls to obtain Vibranium for their impending invasion of Earth. See Secret Invasion #1-8.

  2. Speaking of the Skrull invasion, the woman who appears to be Spider-Woman in this story is actually a Skrull spy named Veranke, as will be revealed in Secret Invasion #3. Per New Avengers #40, she swapped places with the real Jessica Drew circa Giant-Size Spider-Woman #1.

  3. Here, Luke Cage says he thought that the Black Widow was a red head and is told that there is more than one. He is referring to Natasha Romanov, who has been the only known Modern Age Black Widow since Tales of Suspense #52. Yelena has only been active for a short time around when this story was published, first appearing in Black Widow #1-3.

  4. Other than the Skrull thing, “Jessica” was revealed to be a mole for another group in New Avengers #3, Giant-Size Spider-Woman #1 reveal that this is the terrorist group known as Hydra. Further confusing matters is New Avengers #14 which revealed that “Drew” is double-agent working for Nick Fury to spy on Hydra.

  5. Spider-Man complains about a number of things on the walk back, the least of which is a broken arm he sustained in New Avengers #2. Reference is made here to the radioactive spider that originally gave Peter his powers back in Amazing Fantasy #15.

  6. When Maria thanks the New Avengers for re-capturing Lykos, she says the Director of Weapon X will be thankful. Prior to this story arc, Sauron was an unwilling member of this program from Weapon X (vol. 2) #1-18. The Chronology Project places Sauron’s next appearance to a flashback in Weapon X: Days of Future Now #1, which almost entirely takes place in an alternate timeline, so I am not entirely in agreement on that note. If you’re like me, then Sauron’s next appearance is New Mutants (vol. 3) #10, when he’s back on the loose again.

  7. This is a cheeky way to explain away the reappearance of characters who were thought to be dead prior to this story arc. Here are the identifiable 14 “dead” villains per New Avengers: Most Wanted Files #1 (and how they apparently cheated death):

    • Blackout: Is vulnerable to sunlight and he was left tied to the antenna atop the Empire State Building and left to burn alive in Ghost Rider (vol. 3) #66. Most Wanted Files states that he was recovered by authorities before the sun could finish him off.

    • Centurius: As apparently killed when his mind was absorbed by the Ex-Mind along with the rest of the conspiracy in Rampaging Hulk #8, his skeletal remains were also seen in Captain America #358. His profile in Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #2 suggests that Centurius transferred his mind into a cloned body, a common practice among geneticists of his skill base.

    • Count Nefaria: Who was blasted to atoms in Avengers (vol. 3) #34. However, his resurrection was kind of a given since other ionic beings have cheated death in the past (starting with Wonder Man in Avengers #151). So his survival was kind of a foregone conclusion.

    • Cutthroat: Had his throat slit in Captain America #408. Most Wanted Files states that he survived thanks to SHIELD being tipped off as to where his body was dumped.

    • Doctor Demonicus: Seemingly perished when his pacific island was sunk by the Avengers in Avengers West Coast #95. Most Wanted Files states that survived in secret until his capture.

    • Graviton: Seemingly died in a gravity well implosion in Thunderbolts #58. But this wasn’t Frank Hall’s first gravity related mishap so his survival isn’t that surprising.

    • The Mandrill: Had his life force drained by the Grim Reaper in Avengers West Coast #66. Most Wanted Files and his later profile in Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #7 suggest that he survived due to some kind of healing factor.

    • Scarecrow: Was cast to hell in Ghost Rider (vol. 3) #86 but was seen alive and well in Avengers (vol. 3) #64. As of this writing, no concrete explanation has been given. However, people have been cast out of the afterlife before (Such as the Punisher in Punisher (vol. 5) #1)

    • The other 6 “dead” inmates are never clearly specified, time of this writing (March, 2024).

  8. Captain America famously joined the team back in Avengers #4.

  9. “What happened with Wanda” is referring to how she went batshit crazy and attacked her teammates, leading to the old team being disbanded see Avengers #500-503/Avengers: Finale #1.

  10. Wolverine first joined the X-Men back in Giant-Size X-Men #1 and has been almost consistently involved with the group ever since. Next issue Wolverine is treated as a member of the New Avengers. A flashback in issue #8 shows Logan accepting membership. He will absolutely be able to juggle membership on both teams (If Spider-Man can appear in a million books every month, why not Wolverine, ammirite?)

  11. As we’ll learn in New Avengers Annual #1, Yelena is being propositioned by Advanced Idea Mechanics, who give her a rocking new Adaptoid body. That said, New Avengers #41 reveals that these SHIELD agents were actually Skrulls. While never definitively proven, the Yelena Belova we see here is likely a Skrull impostor as well. This is due to the fact that Belova is seemingly killed in New Avengers Annual #1. Yet, despite that, appeared alive and well (with no powers or burns) in Marvel Comics Presents (vol. 2) #5, which takes place after the Secret Invasion event.

Topical References

  • Spider-Woman calls Yelena “Barbie”, a popular doll for girls that was first sold in 1959. The name has been used to refer to attractive women with blonde hair, and can be used as an insult to infer that the person is unintelligent due to their beauty. Technically this is a topical reference because you could easily replace it with a more contemporary example, but Barbie is so ubiquitously in the cultural zeitgeist at this point you don’t really have to explain it.

New Avengers #5

New Avengers #5

New Avengers #7

New Avengers #7