Spider-Man's Tangled Web #18
Alphabet City
Sitting in a diner, a man watches a news report about the Penny-Ante Gang and their latest act of vandalism. They had altered the sign at the Lincoln Theater to read “Penny for u Thought” as a form of protest. The man — obsessed with proper spelling and grammar — critiques the message as well as the language of those sitting around him. He grows tired of the “imbecilic butchers of the verbal slop” he gets fed up, pays for his meal. As he leaves he two bits of advice for the server: learn to enunciate and to remember that muddiness is not merely a disturber of prose, but also a destroyer of life and hope. The walk home doesn’t spare this man for more improper uses of speech, his frustration growing. That’s when he happens upon the Penny-Ante gang as they are about to commit another act of vandalism when they are ambushed by the word-based vigilante called Typeface. Typeface forces the gang to flee the scene. Impressed with Typeface’s performance, the man approaches him and offers his syntactical assistance as his partner. Typeface declines the offer telling the man that he works alone. The man thinks this rejection was rude and decides that instead of accepting it, he should act upon it instead.
Later, the man goes to a surplus store to purchase gear and equipment that will serve as his costume and tries to think of a suitable name to call himself. After assembling and personalizing his outfit, the man decides to call himself Spellcheck. He states that with great power also comes great vocabulary and he will seek out and punish those who would abuse the English language.
A short time later, Typeface has tracked down the remaining members of the Penny-Ante gang and is about to take them down when Spellcheck arrives. This creates enough of a distraction for the gang members to escape. Noticing this, Typeface tries to go after them, but Spellcheck tells him to pause so he can correct Typeface’s use of grammar. Unable to believe that Spellcheck could waste his time on such frivolous details Typeface storms off to try and pick up the gang’s trail. However, Spellcheck follows after him, falling to the street below when he tries to leap from a building. Getting back to his face, Spellcheck decides that Typeface is his enemy and tries to pick a fight. With no time to waste, Typeface incapacitates Spellcheck with some of his explosive letter tiles and continues his hunt for the Penny-Ante gang. When he finds them, he is about to toss more of his explosive letter tiles when Spellcheck ruins his throw to point out that he is using the wrong letters to spell the word “bomb”. This is the final straw for Typeface who decides to deal with Spellecheck once and for all.
Later that evening, Spider-Man arrives at the scene to find the members of the Penny-Ante Gang and Spellcheck have both been beaten and tied up by Typeface. On Spellcheck there is a letter for the authorities from Typeface telling them to lock up Spellcheck as he is an obsessive lunatic. As Spider-Man reads the note, Spellcheck wakes up and begins critiquing the Spider-Man’s use of a hyphen in his name.
Recurring Characters
Spider-Man, Typeface
Topical References
The newscaster states that the Penny-Ante Gang had a manifesto supporting the American copper penny. At the time this story was published the penny was still in circulation but politicians were trying to eliminate it as official currency as early as the year 2001. Ultimately, the penny was taken out of circulation 2017 for at least 10 years to see if there is any negative impact. I somehow doubt they’ll be bringing back the penny in 2027, so this should be considered a topical reference.
A man walking down the street complains about going to see the film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon because the move had neither. CTHD was a 2000 martial arts film directed by Ang Lee. The film was critically acclaimed and won many awards. Incidentally, Lee went on to make the 2003 Hulk movie for Universal Pictures.
