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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

New Thunderbolts #8

New Thunderbolts #8

A Shock to the System

The new Thunderbolts — Mach-IV (Abner Jenkins in his old Beetle armor),[1] Atlas (Erik Josten), Photon (Genis-Vell), Speed Demon (James Sanders), Joystick (Janice Yanizeski), and Radioactive Man (Chen Lu) — are in a battle with Batroc’s Brigade — Batroc, Machete,[2] and Zaran — in Newark, New Jersey. The team is performing poorly, making Abner wonder if Songbird (Melissa Gold) was right that the team won’t ever do right with him as the leader.[3] Eventually, the battle is won when Photon is able to invert the molecular structures of their foes, knocking them out. During the battle, Speed Demon saved the life of a woman, who repays his heroism with a kiss on the cheek.

Back at base, Blizzard talks to Sanders about his planned heist with the Shocker. He tries to convinces James that he can’t be both a hero and a villain. However, Sanders doesn’t want to listen. As Donny leaves the room, Janice wonders what’s bothering him. Erik figures that Gill is in conflict with himself over trying to reform and figures that Abe will set Donny straight. However, Abner is busy in his workshop trying to cannibalize his Beetle armor to repair his Mach-IV suit. He also tries to call Melissa, but keeps getting her voice mail, causing him to become frustrated. Donny then heads down to the training room where Photon and Radiactive Man are trying to figure out how Genis’ new powers work. When Chen notices Donny, they are about to leave. However, Donny actually wants to talk to Chen and get his help to find somebody.

Later, Speed Demon arrives at the home of Herman Schultz, the Shocker, who wants to help on a heist. They are going to break into a mansion on Long Island with a sophisticated safe. IT contains Nazi money that a Swiss bank is in the process of laundering.

Meanwhile, Melissa Gold has come to the Department of Homeland Security to see her old friend Dallas Riordan. She hasn’t seen Dallas since the original team broke up but has now come to take her up on a job offer that was offered to her the last time they spoke.[4] When she enters Dallas’ office, Riordan knows that Melissa is here to talk about Atlas, her former lover. Melissa is surprised and asked how she knew. That’s when Dallas moves out from behind her desk and reveals that she is back in her wheelchair.[5]

In New Orleans, Monica Rambeau is working on her boat while the news is playing on a portable TV. She is shocked when she hears that something about a hero calling himself Photon.[6]

That evening, the Shocker arrives at the mansion on Glen Cove. He is joined by Sanders who is wearing his old Whizzer costume, so as to separate his work with the Thunderbolts as Speed Demon.[7] Shocker explains that after he blasts through the security fence, he needs the Whizzer to hit all the security relays before the countdown timer runs down and sets off the alarm. Even though the Blizzard shows up and tries to stop Sanders before he does something he regrets. James is uninterested in listening and easily knocks Donny out with a series of rapid punches and still has enough time to finish shutting things down before the alarm goes off. The Whizzer and Shocker open the the safe and take the money. James then tell Herman to take the money, saying that he trusts him to keep the money safe.

Later, Donny Gill wakes up naked and suspended upside-down hanging from a bridge. A sticky note on his forehead reads “Thanks for trying!”

When the Shocker returns to his apartment, he marvels at all the money that he managed to score. However, moments later, the police come banging on his door and ordering Shultz to surrender. When he turns to grab his things and run, he realizes that his gauntlets and money are now gone — Speed Demon’s work — and while this means he’ll get off the hook, he still wants to kill James for stealing his loot.

Speed Demon then delivers the money to Abner Jenkins back at Thunderbolts headquarters. James reveals he knows about Abner’s arrangement with Baron Strucker and how they are short on money. All he say about the money is that it was stolen from someone who doesn’t really need it. The Radioactive Man understands that Abner is trying to do great things, but questions how much of his own soul he is willing to sacrifice in order to achieve them. Before Chen can leave the room, someone smashes through the wall to ambush him. It is Namor, the Sub-Mariner who has come to get revenge against Lu for apparently poisoning the people of Atlantis![

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Mach-IV, Atlas, Photon (Genis-Vell), Speed Demon, Joystick, Radioactive Man, Blizzard), Songbird, Dallas Riordan, Shocker, Batroc the Leaper, Machete, Zaran, Photon (Rambeau), Sub-Mariner, Marcus Stone (voice only)

Continuity Notes

  1. The Mach-IV armor was damaged in New Thunderbolts #3, forcing Abner to start wearing his old Beetle armor starting in issue #5.

  2. Batroc refers to Machete as “new”, this is because the previous Machete, Alfonzo Lopez was killed in US Agent (vol. 2) #1. This is his brother Mariano who took over the mantle in GLA #2. This is further clarified in Civil War Files #1.

  3. Songbird quit the team last issue after learning that Abner was getting funding for the group from Hydra since issue #1. This secret was exposed in New Thunderbolts #6.

  4. Songbird recalls that Dallas was calling herself Vantage and that she was a member of the original Thunderbolts team just before they broke up. This was all documented in Avengers/Thunderbolts #1-6.

  5. Dallas was crippled during a fight with the Crimson Cowl back in Thunderbolts #42. This left her confined in a wheelchair until she and Atlas were merged together in issue #56. They were then separated again in Thunderbolts #74, however Dallas had regained her mobility. It’s later revealed in New Thunderbolts #13 that when Atlas regained his powers back in issue #1, he pulled the ionic energies from Dallas, leaving her crippled once more.

  6. Monica Rambeau has had some issues with names in the past. When she first gained her powers in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #16. After meeting Genis-Vell (back when he was calling himself Legacy) she was convinced to change her name to Photon, as seen in Avengers Unplugged #5. Genis eventually started calling himself Captain Marvel starting in Avengers Forever #12. More recently, he started calling himself Photon, as seen in New Thunderbolts #6.

  7. Sanders originally went by the name Whizzer when he first got his powers back in Avengers #69. He later changed his name to Speed Demon in Amazing Spider-Man #222.

  8. The Shocker states here that his haul is worth more than what the Constrictor got out of his lawsuit. The Constrictor won a lawsuit against Hercules, as told in She-Hulk #9.

  9. As we’ll learn next issue, Chen contaminated members of the Fathom Five with lethal radiation in order to avenge the deaths of Chinese citizens when they attacked Bejing. This happened after the Thunderbolts defeated Fathom Five in New Thunderbolts #5-6.

Topical References

  • When fighting Batroc, Joystick mockingly suggest he go “choke on some freedom fries” and calls him Froggy. Shortly after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the United States sought out allies to go to war in the Middle East. France was one of the countries that refused to get involved. This led to political backlash in the United States, with Americans boycotting French products. In 2003, a restaurant decided to rename French Fries, calling them Freedom Fries instead. Yes, this was all very stupid. Calling a French person a frog is a negative stereotype about French people stemming from their consumption of frogs legs.

  • Speed Demon mocks the Shocker for listening to Kelly Clarkson on the radio. At the time this story was published, Clarkson was at the height of her popularity after winning the 2002 edition of American Idol. This should be considered a topical reference as a more contemporary musician could be used in her place.

  • The Shocker states that the money they are stealing is 5 million dollars. Adjusting for inflation this would be worth 7.8 million in 2023 money.

New Thunderbolts #7

New Thunderbolts #7

New Thunderbolts #9

New Thunderbolts #9