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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #113

Thunderbolts #113

Faith in Monsters, Part 4

The Steel Spider (Oliver Osnick) returns to his apartment after a night out fighting crime. He carefully gets in unseen, as he is an unregistered superhero and beaths a sigh of relief.[1] He peels off his costume and equipment revealing bloody knuckles and a bruised body.

He then sits down on his couch and begins listening to the voice mails he has received while he was out. The first message is from his bank to discuss his current expenditures. The next is his father who is calling about some parts that he ordered on their account. He wants his son to stop doing this and to call him right away. The last message is from his ex-girlfriend Sandra, who first asks that he call her and tell him that he is still alive. She then changes her mind and tells him to never mind. She doesn’t want to know anything about his double-life as a superhero. Saying the only thing that mattered in their relationship was him, and she can’t go on like this. The small glimmer of hope Ollie had when Sandra’s message began are instantly dashed with her firm rejection at the end.

Meanwhile, at Thunderbolts Mountain in Colorado, Norman Osborn pays a visit to Penance (Robbie Baldwin). Robbie is sitting in the dark in an empty room with nothing but his Penance costume to keep him company. Normans reminds Robbie that he doesn’t have to live like a prisoner since he here voluntarily. Baldwin says he doesn’t need anything to relax because he is there to do a job. Seeing the healing wounds on Baldwin’s body Osborn acts shocked at the harm Penance causes to himself when wearing his costume and wonders if that clouds his judgement in the field. Robbie tells him that the pain actually helps him focus, allowing him to see the world in colour rather than dull and grey. Norman then expresses his concerns, concerns shared by the Commission on Superhuman Activities (CSA), that Robbie is going to kill himself if he continues wearing the suit. Robbie is stubborn, insisting that he will continue to wear it even if it eventually ends his life. Annoyed that he is getting nowhere, Osborn tells him that he’ll get Robbie some help and tells him to get something to eat in the meantime.[2]

Once Osborn is out of the cell he meets with his secretary, Miss Thompson. He demands that they get Robbie’s psychologist, Doctor Keith Sawney to diagnose Baldwin as being too insane for field work. The last thing Norman wants is the CSA down his throat when Penance does finally get himself killed in action. Since he has evidence of Sawney being unfaithful to his wife, he is willing to blackmail the doctor to write the report he wants.

As Miss Thompson goes off to deliver the news, the Swordsman (Andreas Von Strucker) demands to speak with Osborn about his new sword. He is deeply concerned about getting the hilt back because it is wrapped in the skin of his dead twin sister. This is the only way he can access his mutant powers since her death.[3] He also wants to know the status of their deal, and speaks out of turn. Osborn is not in the mood to deal with Strucker’s insubordinate attitude and reminds him that he will be provided with an adult clone of his sister once he has finished his year tour with the Thunderbolts, and not a moment sooner. Putting Strucker in his place, Osborn even gets Andreas to call him sir before he storms out of the office.[4]

When Swordsman gets into the hallway he finds Moonstone (Karla Sofen) hanging around and complains to her about Osborn. All he admits to her that since his sister died he has been struggling to feel like a human being. He admits that the only time he has felt normal was after he kicked the shit out of Jack Flag when they captured him. He is also sick of dealing with Osborn, having seen him laughing like a madman in the hall, leading Andreas to question his sanity.[6] Karla is very aware of this, revealing that she has replaced some of Norman’s medication with placebos. This is all part of a master scheme to become the new director of the Thunderbolts. The only threat in her way is if Norman Osborn is ousted and replaced with a new director that is more sympathetic to Songbird (Melissa Gold), putting Moonstone’s field leadership in jeopardy.[5] She is telling Andreas all of this because she wants his help killing Melissa in the field. She secures his loyalty by promising that she’ll ensure his deal with Osborn — to clone his sister — remains intact.

At that moment, on a Navajo Reservation, Jason Strongbow — aka American Eagle — is working on a new helmet when his friend swings by to tell him some bad news. Apparently the Steel Spider beat up Andy Bear and his gang when they were rolling people for beer money on the streets. Jason doesn’t see how this is his problem, but he is told that Andy Bear is roweling people on the Reservation up and that they plan on going out to hunt for Steel Spider this evening. Jason realizes that his friend thinks that because he is a former superhero that Steel Spider will listen to him. However, Strongbow doesn’t know Steel Spider or how to reach him. That’s when his friend convinces him to go out and find him and talk him into laying low for a bit as it will save lives and not bring the law looking for unregistered heroes in the area. Jason realizes that he has no choice but to do just that and collapses in his chair for a moment before asking his friend to pass him a beer.

While at the apartment of Jillian Woods, she is watching TV when she gets an unexpected phone call. Its from a man named Sikorski that represents Roxxon’s private security division, Blackridge. He was hoping to offer her a job as a special advisor for the company’s interests in the Middle East. Jillian doesn’t understand why he’d be interested in her until Sikorski reveals that he knows of her double life as the superhero Sepulchre.[7] At first, she is worried that this has something to do with the Super Human Registration Act (SHRA), but he assures her it does not. In fact, Roxxon is looking to hire mostly unregistered superhumans. Sikorski has become aware of the fact that Jillian has not gotten the job she was trying for and can have his people come up to Phoenix and meet her, promising it will be totally off the books. He then tells her what the job would entail: She’d mostly be working as superpowered protection for clients, working four months on and four months off. They would generously pay her and she could spend her time anywhere in the world when she’s not working, Roxxon is also willing to arrange for her to be registered in the United States. When asked if she is interested, Jillian says she is and then drains he glass of wine before taking down all the details.

At that same moment, Norman Osborn is having a meeting with the Thunderbolts to discuss their next mission. The group are being dispatched to Phoenix, Arizona to bring in the vigilante known as the Steel Spider, a hero inspired by Spider-Man. Osborn tells them that he relies on mechanical arms and has no actual superhuman powers and non-lethal weapons.[8] He wants the team to take him down during his afternoon patrol in full daylight and in front of news cameras. When both Songbird and Radioactive Man point out that he has started calling their target Spider-Man, Norman denies it even though he is still clearly saying it. Beginning to sweat profusely, he tries changing the subject. When he is asked why Bullseye isn’t present for the briefing, Osborn says he is informed separately and that the team shouldn’t have to rely on him like they did when they captured Jack Flag.

Meanwhile, Ollie Osnick is working on a new upgrade for his mechanical arms while watching the news. The top story is about Spider-Man revealing his true identity and that he is still at large.[9] Ollie, talking to himself, assures Peter Park that he is still out there as well. He then puts in the finishes up attaching a gun to one of his mechanical arms.

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Norman Osborn, Songbird, Moonstone, Radioactive Man, Swordsman, Venom, Penance, Bullseye), Steel Spider, American Eagle, Sepulchre

Continuity Notes

  1. This story takes place after the passage of the SHRA, in Civil War #1. It requires all superhumans to register with the government or be considered outlaws. The Thunderbolts have been charged with apprehending those opposing registration since Thunderbolts #110. This law will remain in place until Siege #4.

  2. Robbie Baldwin’s martyr complex comes from the fact that his actions as the hero Speedball led to the death of hundreds of people in the so-called Stamford Disaster, the catalyst that led to the passage of the SHRA. He was also made a scapegoat was heavily vilified as he was dragged through the system. To atone for the deaths he caused, Robbie reinvented himself as Penance. His suit of armor has spikes on the inside, one for each victim. The pain caused also allows him to channel his powers, which haven’t worked properly since Stamford. See Civil War: Front Line #1-10.

  3. Per Uncanny X-Men #200, Andreas could only access his mutant powers (the ability to generate blasts of energy) when in physical contact with his twin sister Andrea. Unfortunately, his sister was later murdered by Baron Zemo in Citizen V and the V-Battalion #3. As revealed in New Thunderbolts #17, Andreas had a swatch of his sister’s skin tanned so he could wrap it around the hilt of his sword to use his powers. A clone of Andrea Strucker will turn up in Thunderbolts #122. His sword was recently broken by Jack Flag in Thunderbolts #111.

  4. Andreas mentions Norman Osborn’s shady past. He is referring to his career as the criminal known as the Green Goblin which began in Amazing Spider-Man #13. His double life became widely known to the public in The Pulse #5. However, he’ll manage to walk it back again in Thunderbolts #128-129.

  5. Norman Osborn has had a tenuous grip on his sanity since being exposed to his Goblin Formula (as explained in Amazing Spider-Man #40). Around the time of this story, Norman has been mixing incompatible medications to treat his mental illness as we saw in Thunderbolts #111.

  6. Songbird had been field leader to the Thunderbolts starting in New Thunderbolts #12. Her role was later taken away from her when they came under government control. Norman Osborn put Moonstone in charge instead, as seen in Thunderbolts #110. This is because Norman wanted someone as amoral as he is leading the team.

  7. Sikorski specifically asks Jillian if she goes by Shadowoman, the codename she started using in Quasar #45 or if he can call her Sepulchre, a name she has been calling herself since Secret Defenders #22. Here, Jillian states that she hasn’t been in costume for some time. This is correct, the last time readers saw her in action was in Sensational Spider-Man Annual 1996.

  8. Norman mentions the Steel Spider’s past associations with Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus. Prior to becoming the Steel Spider, Ollie Osnick tried to be a supervillain called Kid Ock until Spider-Man convinces him to go on the straight and narrow in Spectacular Spider-Man #72. After this, Osnick reinvented himself as Spider-Kid and tried to become Spidey’s sidekick, as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #263. After that he reinvented himself as the Steel Spider in Spider-Man Unlimited #5. Here, Norman openly uses Spider-Man’s civilian name (Peter Parker), something that he has known since Amazing Spider-Man #39, but is openly using it here because Peter recently revealed his identity to the world in Civil War #2/Amazing Spider-Man #533. Ultimately, the world will be forced to forget Peter’s true identity following a literal deal with the devil in Amazing Spider-Man #545.

  9. It is mentioned here that Peter Parker is a school teacher. at the time of this story, he had started teaching at his old high school, Midtown High, in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #31. He had to abruptly leave his job after deciding to go against the SHRA in Civil War #5/Amazing Spider-Man #536.

Topical References

  • Steel Spider is depicted as having a physical answering machine hooked up to a landline. While these are still around today, they have fallen out of common use due to the advent of voice mail services that have rendered the machines mostly obsolete. As such, its depiction here should be considered topical.

  • Jillian Woods’ cell phone is depicted as a flip phone model with a visible antenna sticking out of it. These phones were quite popular around the time this comic was originally published in 2007. While they are still around, they have fallen out of common use thanks to the advent of smart phones, that have rendered old school flips mostly obsolete. As such, its depiction here should be considered topical. She is also depicted as having a CRT television in her living room. This is an obsolete technology and as such should be considered topical.

  • Osnick also has a CRT television it’s still a topical reference, thanks for playing.

The Initiative Reading Order

Civil War: The Initiative #1, Ms. Marvel (vol. 2) #13, 14, 15, 16, 17, Thunderbolts #112, 113, 114, 115, Omega Flight #1-5, Moon Knight (vol. 3) #13, Captain America (vol. 5) #26, 27, 28, 29, 30, New Avengers #27, 28, 29, 30, 31, New Warriors (vol. 4) #1-8, Black Panther (vol. 4) #27, 28, 29, 30, Iron Man: Agent of SHIELD #15, 16, 17, 18, Avengers: The Initiative #1, 2, 3, Fantastic Four #547, 548, 549, 550, Punisher: War Journal (vol. 2) #6-11, Mighty Avengers #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Sub-Mariner (vol. 2) #1-6, The Order (vol. 2) 1-4, Penance: Relentless #1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Thunderbolts: Desperate Measures #1

Thunderbolts: Desperate Measures #1

Thunderbolts #114

Thunderbolts #114