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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #64

Thunderbolts #64

City of Hope

Earlier

The Thunderbolts — Mach-3 (Abner Jenkins), Moonstone (Karla Sofen), Fixer (Norbert Ebersol), Atlas (Dallas Riordan/Erik Josten), and Jolt (Hallie Takahama) — have just stopped the World Party from launching a satellite that would allow them to dominate Counter-Earth. This also cost them their ticket home, but the team had decided to remain on this duplicate Earth to help its collapsed society.[1]

With their mission accomplished they are approached by their former leader, Baron Helmut Zemo. Zemo, cheated death and had transferred his mind into the body of his Counter-Earth counterpart.[2] He has now offered the team the opportunity to join him and conquer Counter-Earth for themselves. The Thunderbolts are reluctant to join forces with him and question why he would want to dominate a world on the brink of destruction. After explaining how he cheated death, Zemo asks the Thunderbolts where they at least plan on going.[3]

One Week Later…

Deciding to follow Zemo for the time being, the Thunderbolts have traveled to the Himalayan Mountains to the hidden city of Attilan, former home of the Inhumans.[4] Once they have secured the city, the Fixer gets to work getting the anti-gravity devices operational again. Atlas offers their assistance in this task, intentionally ignoring Zemo. When Helmut tries to play on Erik Josten’s guilt over letting Zemo escape back when he turned on the Thunderbolts,[5] Atlas powers down so that Dallas can address him directly.[6] She tells Zemo that he won’t be able to play off Erik’s insecurities now that they are merged together and tells Zemo that if he wants an alliance with the rest of the Thunderbolts he will have to earn it. When Zemo successfully turns on the anti-grav unit in Attilan, the Thunderbolts get to work saving the universe.

Their first stop is the city of Tokyo in Japan, which has been ravaged by cosmic energy storms. While Moonstone and Mach-3 help evacuate the refugees, Jolt and Fixer try to identify the type of energy they are dealing with. Zemo orders everyone to return to Attilan as his scanners show that the locals have absorbed enough of the energy for them to examine it there. Within 27 hours they have rescued around 4000 people. As Zemo looks over them, he can’t help but think of them as sheep. He is joined by Moonstone who knows enough about the Baron that she can guess what he is thinking. When she asks what he is planning on doing, Zemo says that he has decided to take Dallas’ advice and try and earn their trust.

Down in Tokyo, Mach-3 and Fixer are out looking for more refugees. Abner is scolding Norbert for keeping Zemo’s survival a secret from the rest of the team. Ebersol says it wasn’t that easy as Zemo had control of his tech-pack and could have killed him with a though, but admits that he was hedging his bets. Their discussion comes to an end when they come upon a young man sitting by himself in a ruined apartment building. When they ask him to come with them, he tells them that he cannot leave his parents. Fixer finds the long dead bodies of two adults in the bedroom, the young man’s parents, and try to convince him that they are beyond help. However, the young man believes he is talking to his parents and he insists that he cannot leave them. When they try to take the youth, he suddenly repels them with a powerful burst of energy.

By the time they return to base, Fixer has come up with a means of closing the anomaly field that is causing the cosmic energy storms. He presents his theory to the rest of the Thunderbolts: By pumping neutrinos into the field, they can fill the void and neutralize it. Zemo agrees that this is the best course of action and believes that Jolt, Mach-3, and Atlas can help Fixer do the job. Karla openly points out that such a dangerous job would remove four potential adversaries. Zemo then flips the script saying he could be putting four potential allies in danger, and reminding them that this is all a matter of trust. Using Dallas’ own words against them gives Zemo a reason to smile.

Soon, the four members of the team have constructed a hollow metal sphere that they can charge with energy that will allow them to enter the anomaly field. Mach-3, being the only one among the three who hasn’t cheated death before is very nervous.[7] After charging the field, the trio manage to successfully enter the void unharmed. With Fixer’s theory proven successful the return and begin working on a scaled down process in order to purge the deadly energies that were absorbed by the refugees. They first cure an elderly old man who warmly thanks Baron Zemo for saving him, and hearing this praise is a shock to the would-be world conqueror. It gives the Baron a lot to think about, he thinks about his family legacy and how his father — Heinrich Zemo — wasted his life trying to dominate the world. He now sees this as so much missed potential, if his father had used his great intellect to save the world instead he might have succeeded. Walking out onto a balcony where the refugees can see them. When the cheer for him, Zemo smiles, realizing that saving this world will be more fullfilling than conquering it.[8]

Earth

Meanwhile, at Seagate Prison on the Thunderbolts’ home world, a prisoner named Don Clendenon is awoken when the Crimson Cowl teleports into his cell. She offers him freedom if Don agrees to come and work for her. Don points out that working for the Cowl in the past is what landed him in prison in the first place.[9] The Cowl offers him an opportunity to avenge the death of his daughter, the Redeemer known as Meteorite (Valerie Burnhardt). However, it’s not entirely Graviton’s fault that she is dead.[10] She places the blame squarely on the former Avenger known as Hawkeye as it was he who set Valerie on the path that led to her death.[11] To do this, the Cowl introduces Don to her new Masters of Evil which includes Hydro-Man, Cyclone, Gypsy Moth, Black Mamba, Man-Killer, and the Machinesmith. This is more than enough to convince Don to rejoin the team and asks the Crimson Cowl what the plan is. She tells him that they are to find and capture Sam Smithers, aka Plantman, as he holds the key to world domination!

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Baron Zemo, Moonstone, Mach-3, Fixer, Atlas (Josten/Riorden), Jolt), Anomaly, Masters of Evil (Crimson Cowl, Cardinal, Black Mamba, Machinesmith, Gypsy Moth, Man-Killer, Hydro-Man, Cyclone)

Continuity Notes

  1. Counter-Earth was created by Franklin Richards back in Onslaught: Marvel Universe #1, to safely transport members of the Fantastic Four and Avengers when they sacrificed their lives to stop Onslaught. The heroes later returned to their proper home in Heroes Reborn: The Return #1-4. Since then, the planet was targeted by the Dreaming Celestial who threw the world into chaos, as seen in Heroes Reborn: Doomsday, Ashema, Masters of Evil, Remnants, Young Allies, and Doom one-shots. The Thunderbolts ended up stranded here after their recent battle with Graviton in Thunderbolts #57-58. They foiled the World Party’s world domination plot in Thunderbolts #62.

  2. Baron Zemo’s original body was decapitated back in Thunderbolts #39. His mind was transferred out thanks to a bio-modem. His consciousness was kept alive in the body of Citizen V (John Watkins III) in Thunderbolts #45, then Fixer’s tech-pack in issue #58, until he finally took over the body of the Counter-Earth version of himself in issue #62. Zemo mentions he no longer has a scarred face. The guy had a horribly burned mug after falling face first into a boiling vat of Adhesive X way back in Captain America #168. His Counter-Earth double was a lot luckier.

  3. Zemo mentions how Erik Josten and Dallas Riordan are merged together. This happened after Atlas’ body exploded in Thunderbolts #47. Erik and Dallas’ love for one another drew him back to the land of the living and the two fused together into a singular being, as seen in Thunderbolts #56. This will remain their status quo until Thunderbolts #74.

  4. Attilan was home to Counter-Earth’s version of the Inhumans, as seen in Fantastic Four (vol. 2) #8. However, the city was abandoned after the heroes of Earth-616 returned to their proper homes in Heroes Reborn: The Return #1-4, which included members of the Inhuman Royal Family (even though they were originally from Counter-Earth, but that’s neither here nor there so don’t worry your pretty head about it.)

  5. Baron Zemo first formed the Thunderbolts from the former Masters of Evil, having them pose as heroes in a complex scheme to take over the world. This lasted from Thunderbolts #1-12. When Zemo’s master plan was foiled, Atlas could has stopped Zemo from escaping but decided to let him go out of loyalty.

  6. Here, the Fixer has to fashion a chair for Dallas to sit in. This is because she was crippled from the waist down after a battle with the Crimson Cowl in Thunderbolts #42. She regains her mobility when powered up, but becomes paralyzed again whenever she returns to human form.

  7. Fixer is the one to point out that Mach-3 hadn’t cheated death in the past, while he and the others have in one form or another. We already covered how Atlas cheated death above, as for the other two:

    • The Fixer was the first of the Thunderbolts to have a taste of death. He got his neck snapped in Thunderbolts #7. His mind was transferred into a mechanical body which he operated in until that too was destroyed in Thunderbolts #46. He cheated death a second time as his mind was transferred into his original body, which was being held in stasis, as seen in Thunderbolts #48 and explained in issue #61.

    • Jolt was seemingly killed by an assassin’s bullet in Thunderbolts #34. However, this was one of those “faintest sparks of life” situations that they love to use in comics. She was restored to full life by the Fixer in Thunderbolts #46.

  8. Helmut’s father, Heinrich, was the Baron Zemo of World War II. A loyal Nazi he focused on world domination after the war. Unfortunately, he met his demise early on in the Modern Age in a battle to the death with Captain America, as seen in Avengers #15. Helmut would later start trying to follow in his father’s footsteps starting in Captain America #168.

  9. The Cardinal was a member of the Crimson Cowl’s Masters of Evil until they were all busted by the Thunderbolts, see issues #24-25 for details.

  10. Valerie Burnhardt, aka Meteorite, joined the Redeemers — a government sponsored group of reformed criminals — in Thunderbolts #48. She was killed in a battle against Graviton in issue #58. Here, the Cowl states that Graviton is most likely dead. Frank Hall seemingly perished in the same issue that he killed Meteorite. However, he somehow survived and will be captured by SHIELD and incarcerated in the Raft, as seen in New Avengers #3. How he got there will be explained in New Avengers: Most Wanted Files #1.

  11. Hawkeye is “to blame”, because he went to the Commission of Superhuman Activities to try and convince them to let him help redeem the Thunderbolts back in issue #21. The turned down his offer and formed the Redeemers instead. This is explained in more detail in Thunderbolts #67. It’s a stretch, but I imagine it wouldn’t take much to convince Don to get revenge against someone.

Topical References

  • When Jolt assesses the strange energies in Tokyo, the Fixer quips “Oprah science. Great.” He is referring to talk show host Oprah Winfrey, who was at the height of her popularity at the time this comic was published. She was one of the pioneers of “trash TV”, which often featured sensational stories. She was often criticized for having guests who tout medical or psychological solutions that are not backed by science, ala “Doctor” Phil McGraw and Ahmet Oz.

  • When Mach-3 is reluctant to return to base, the Fixer sarcastically calls him “Mother Theresa”. Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu, better known as Mother Theresa, was a nun that wounded the Missionaries of Charity, which trained nuns on how to become humanitarians. Her work gained her notoriety, even outside of the church and was associated with various celebrities and politicians over the years. Critics of her work are quick to point out that her missionaries weren’t really helping anybody, but just place where she could get her rocks off watching people suffer because watching suffering (in her own words) brought her closer to God, because she was really a monster, but I digress. That said, the general public knew her as a great humanitarian and not many were critical of the work she was actually doing vs the perception that she was helping people. Even though she died in 1997 and her questionable methods, her name became synonymous with charity even after her death. However, this should be considered a topical reference as this association is quickly falling out of popular use and more contemporary individuals can and will eventually replace her in this regard, as is the nature of history.

  • The term “Gypsy” is now considered by many to be a pejorative term describing the Romani people. However, since changing that would alter the name of the character (who is Romani) her name here should be considered factual, as offensive as it may be.

Thunderbolts #63

Thunderbolts #63

Thunderbolts #65

Thunderbolts #65