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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #66

Thunderbolts #66

Becoming Villains, Part 1: Empyrean Blues

It’s been three weeks since the Thunderbolts trapped on Counter-Earth decided to remain and help save this world.[1] Although this was all Jolt (Hallie Takahama)’s idea, she now feels uncomfortable about all the praise they are receiving from the hundreds of thousands of people they have saved already.

Writing a letter, she reflects back on how they got here and can’t help but feel like the Thunderbolts had come full circle. She recounts how after Earth’s heroes seemingly perished during the final battle with Onslaught, they were transported to Counter-Earth for a time.[2] While they were gone, the former Masters of Evil — Baron (Helmut) Zemo, Moonstone (Karla Sofen), the Beetle (Abner Jenkins), Screaming Mimi (Melissa Gold), Goliath (Erik Josten), and the Fixer (Norbert Ebersol) — reinvented themselves as the Thunderbolts — Citizen V (Zemo), Meteorite (Sofen), Mach-1 (Jenkins), Songbird (Gold), Atlas (Josten), and Techo (Ebersol) — and tried to convince the world that they were new heroes as part of a complex plan to take over the world.[3]

It was around this time that Jolt joined the team and after the truth about them was exposed, they decided to becomes heroes. From there, they allowed the Avenger known as Hawkeye (Clint Barton) to join and lead the team.[4] They had some success in winning over the public until they uncovered a government conspiracy involving the super-villain killing assassin known as Scourge. After stopping this scheme, Hawkeye agreed to go to jail in exchange for the Thunderbolts getting pardons.[5] The team were briefly civilians until the world was menaced by Graviton. The Thunderbolts risked their freedom and lives to save the planet from his threat.[6] Instead of death, they found themselves on Counter-Earth and their current situation.

She then details her current activities, starting with how she and Atlas helped restore a dam to working order. The time together gave Hallie an opportunity to learn more about the fusion between Dallas Riordan and Erik Josten. The two had been merged together, their strengths and flaws balancing each other out, making them a perfect synthesis of two people.[6][7] Jolt then goes to report their success to the Fixer, who is working away on more new projects while also looking at nudie magazines. She is annoyed by how dismissive the egotistical pervert is. He quickly shoos Hallie away, telling her he’ll have some new tasks lined up in another hour.[8][9] The way the Fixer treats people leads Hallie to conclude that you don’t have to like the human race in order to try and save it.

The opposite can be said about her teammate, Mach-3. Abner Jenkins has been spending more and more time in uniform helping refugees. This is helps him keep his mind off the fact that he gave up their only way home, keeping him away from Songbird, the love of his life.[10] When Hallie contacts him and asks if he wants some company, Abe turns her down, saying that he is all the way out in London delivering medical supplies. This leaves her wondering what else is making Jenkins so distant and figures it has to do with the return of their old leader, Baron Zemo.

When Hallie meets up with Helmut, he announces his plans to nuke the city of Tokyo, which had been ravaged by cosmic energies. This is the only way they believe they can stop the cosmic storms from spreading beyond Japan. Hallie is horrified by this suggestion, as there are still people on the ground that need rescuing. The Fixer says that it is the only solution, otherwise the entire planet will be destroyed in about 10 months. Dallas tries to reason with the youth, telling her that she learned from being a police officer that they cannot save everybody. Realizing that there is no other choice, Hallie tells Zemo to stop looking so smug and leaves. When the Baron is told that destroying Tokyo will only take 14 of their 30 nuclear missiles, he orders the Fixer to drop 20 just to be sure. Hallie goes outside on the balcony that overlooks Tokyo. She thinks about how her mother always promised to bring her to Tokyo one day, but died before she could.[11] As she watches the city being destroyed, Zemo comes out to check on her. When she turns to look at him, he sees that she has been crying and walks away without another word. It leaves her to wonder how someone who has failed so many times in the past can be sure and confident about his goals now.

This brings her to the second most conceited person of their ground, Moonstone. Who has been tasked with speaking to the refugees and indoctrinating them to the Thunderbolts master plan using her skills in psychology. She wonders how someone who can so easily manipulate people make the world a better place. Seeing how close both Karla and Zemo have become, she also admits that she cannot fully trust either of them.

Hallie is writing all these thoughts down in a letter to her friend, Charlie Burlingame, aka Charcoal. She misses him deeply and wishes that he would come back from the dead like so many of their kind does.[12] She wonders what he would say and what he would respond if she told him that she thinks that the Thunderbolts good intentions are paving them a road all the way to hell. With that, Hallie deletes her letter and turns off her computer.

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Baron Zemo, Moonstone, Mach-3, Fixer, Atlas (Josten/Riordan), Jolt, Phantom Eagle, Anomaly

Continuity Notes

  1. This group of Thunderbolts has been stranded on Counter-Earth since Thunderbolts #59. They decided to save this world in issue #62. Prior to their arrival, Counter-Earth was destabilized by a series of cosmic scale disasters created by the Dreaming Celestial, see the Heroes Reborn: Doomsday #1, Ashema, Rebel, Remnants, Young Allies and Doom one-shots.

  2. When the Avengers and Fantastic Four seemingly perished in Onslaught: Marvel Universe #1, they were actually transported to Counter-Earth. There they lived reimagined lives until they were found and returned home in Heroes Reborn: The Return #1-4.

  3. While they were gone, Zemo formed his Thunderbolts. Their scheme to take over the world and their being exposed as villains was chronicled in Thunderbolts #1-12. Jolt had officially joined the team in issue #4.

  4. Hawkeye would later come to lead the team in Thunderbolts #21.

  5. The Scourge conspiracy was the work of Henry Gyrich of the Commission on Superhuman Activities who in turn was being controlled by Hydra. See Thunderbolts #34-50 and Citizen V and the V-Battalion #1-3.

  6. It is mentioned here how Dallas was the former liaison to the New York City Mayor’s Office that worked with the Thunderbolts. That started back in Thunderbolts #2. She and Erik started dating in issue #6 and fell in love. They were estranged for a time when the Thunderbolts were outed as villains in disguise. Much later, Atlas’ ionic body reached critical mass and exploded in Thunderbolts #47. His love for Dallas pulled him back to the land of the living, merging the two together in Thunderbolts #56. Whenever she isn’t powered up, Dallas needs a wheelchair after her spine was broken fighting the Crimson Cowl back in issue #42.

  7. Here we see Dallas sketching a picture of someone. When Jolt asks who it is, Riordan says that they are “No one that matters. Not now, anyway.” This seems like the start of a developing plot point but who this is and what Dallas may have meant about this remains unexplored as of this writing (October, 2023).

  8. Here, the Fixer asks Hallie what the cup size of her bras are. In case you’re wondering how gross and inappropriate this is, let me do the math: Per Thunderbolts #19, Hallie had just turned sixteen just prior to joining the team. Per the Sliding Timescale, its been about a year and a half since then, making her just shy of her 18th birthday and therefor still a minor. How old is the Fixer? Well (at least at this point in my research) I haven’t found any specifics on his age, but given his overall appearance we can assume that he’s in his mid to late 30s. So yeah, this is super gross.

  9. Here, Hallie is depicted walking with a cane. This is because she was nearly killed by a gunshot wound to the head in Thunderbolts #34. Although she was revived in issue #46, she suffered partial paralysis due to her injuries as we learned in the following issue. Hallie will be completely healed by the time we see her in Exiles #81.

  10. Songbird was the only member of the team that didn’t end up getting stranded on Counter-Earth, as seen in issue #58-59. The stranded Thunderbolts gave up stealing a rocket to get back home in order to help save Counter-Earth, as seen in issue #62.

  11. Hallie’s entire family were killed during the Onslaught crisis, as told in Thunderbolts #1.

  12. Charcoal was ripped to shreds in Thunderbolts #55. As of this writing (October, 2023), Charlie remains considered among the deceased.

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