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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

War Machine (vol. 2) #8

War Machine (vol. 2) #8

Following War Machine (Jim Rhodes)’s targeted campaign of eliminating war criminals, his fellow Avengers West Coast alumni Mockingbird (Bobbi Morse) and Ronin (Clint Barton) have decided to stage an intervention. While Bobbi is adamant that she is against Jim killing anybody, Clint isn’t so sure that what Rhodey is doing is wrong.[1] He is more willing to hear Jim out, reminding Bobbi that he had helped form the West Coast Avengers with them years ago.[2]

Soon, their Quinjet catches up with War Machine, who is attacking a commercial airliner. What his former allies don’t know is that it contains part of Ultimo tech that is responsible for the deaths of innocent people in Aquaria.[3] As back-up support, Jim has Parnell Jacobs and Suzi Endo following him in a commandeered space shuttle. They warn him of the approaching Quinjet, just as Tigra (Greer Grant) leaps off the craft and onto the shuttle. War Machine ignores her until he is knocked off the airliner by Wonder Man (Simon Williams). While he is busy struggling with Williams, Tigra boards the space shuttle and ambushes both Parnell and Suzi.

Getting away from Wonder Man, War Machine tries to return to the shuttle, but Ronin and his Quinjet are blocking his path. Clint tries to talk sense into Jim and threatens to fire an EMP arrow at him. Rhodes calls his bluff, pointing out that this would disable all three aircraft and put countless lives in danger. War Machine then does the unexpected: He uses his cybernetic system’s ability to assimilate technology to absorb the space shuttle and Quinjet into his armor. This causes all the passengers on board to fall. As Mockingbird calls to Wonder Man to save them, Ronin manages to snag War Machine with an arrow and hitches a ride. Once he climbs up to Jim’s back, Clint asks Rhodes to explain himself. War Machine explains that he is after the Ultimo components on the plane.

Not far away, Wonder Man has caught everyone who was left to fall. As they try to catch up with War Machine and Ronin, Suzi explains the situation to the other former West Coast Avengers. She explains that the Ultimo component is in the possession of one Reginald Gunderson who is the Assistant Director of the United States Department of Alien Quarantine and Technology. Tigra notices that their dossier on Gunderson lists that there are 132 deaths attributed to him and Suzi explains that this kill count gives Jim the justification he needs to eliminate his targets. War Machine is also telling Clint that the Ultimo component on that plane is the robot’s neural net and at that moment it has been passed on to the CEO of Stark Solutions who is, at that very moment, drinking it.

Clint finds it hard to believe that Tony Stark would do something so dangerous. Suddenly, there is an explosion of liquid metal out the front of the commercial jet. Inside, Stark is merging with the liquid metal. War Machine and the others get into the plane through a hole in the roof and are shocked to see that the man who drank the Ultimo component is now a huge mass of liquid metal. As Tigra and Mockingbird get the other passengers to the other end of the plane, the tail end of the plane finally snaps off and begins to fall. Wonder Man and War Machine go after it to prevent the passengers from falling to their doom. Simon asks Jim for a hand in slowing its fall, but War Machine has a better idea. Using his assimilation tech, he transforms the tail end of the plane into an improvised helicarrier.

With the passengers and his friends safe, War Machine flies back to fight Stark, whose new body absorbs the materials of the rest of the aircraft to increase his mass. As he shrugs off the volley of bullets and missiles fired at him, he lands on top of a cellphone tower and begins absorbing that into his body as well.

While Jim is dealing with this threat, two more of his allies — Bethany Cabe and Jake Oh — have suited up in spare suits of War Machine armor to destroy the other two Ultimo components elsewhere in the country. Bethany destroys the Ultimo memory banks that are being researched at a Roxxon R&D facility in Seattle, Washington, while Jake destroys the AI brain components at a Transcore Artificial Intelligence Solutions building in Bingston, Indiana.

Back in Arizona, War Machine is scrambling to find a way to stop Ultimo from growing further. He thinks his best bet would be to use his assimilation tech to absorb the Ultimo component but is warned that they don’t know what that would do to him personally since he is mostly made of metal. Jim tries to reason with “Tony Stark”, only to learn that they are actually dealing with his conniving cousin, Morgan![4][5] Morgan tries to get Jim on his side, pointing out how they are both “second stringers” in comparison to his more successful cousin.[6] He also boasts about how the Ultimo emotional core has given him the edge to become a killer and has formulated a more efficient way to wipe out all life on the planet. He then tries to absorb War Machine into his mass, but Jim resists. That’s when the Ultimo program initiates a self-destruct, sending liquid metal raining down all over the area. This metal hardens on trees and begins assimilating the surrounding forest.

Watching this from Avengers Tower, Norman Osborn suits up as the Iron Patriot and tells his assistant, Victoria Hand, to cancel all of his appointments.

Recurring Characters

War Machine, Bethany Cabe, Parnell Jacobs, Jake Oh, Suzi Endo, Ronin, Mockingbird, Wonder Man, Tigra, Morgan Stark/Ultimo, Iron Patriot, Victoria Hand

Continuity Notes

  1. It is mentioned here how Jim is responsible for the death of a Roxxon CEO (Dark Reign: New Nation #1), eliminating 26 soldiers in Santo Marco (War Machine (vol. 2) #1), and trashing a Navajo Reservation and a US military base (the last two issues).

  2. The Avengers West Coast were assigned to Clint (then Hawkeye) and Mockingbird to form in Avengers #242. The first team they formed included Jim (who was acting as Iron Man at the time), Wonder Man and Tigra in West Coast Avengers #1. The group ultimately disbanded after a few years of activity in Avengers West Coast #102.

  3. This happened in the form of a virus in War Machine (vol. 2) #1-5. Jim learned that the remains of Ultimo were split up into three components last issue.

  4. What our heroes don’t know is that, at the time of this story, the real Tony Stark is on the run after he was made a scapegoat for the failed Skrull invasion of Earth that took place in Secret Invasion #1-8. See Invincible Iron Man #8-19.

  5. Suzi Endo mentions various plots where Morgan Stark attempted to steal Tony’s fortune and company. The instances she mentions are:

  6. Morgan calling Jim a “second stringer” to Stark is alluding to the fact that, for a time, Jim had replaced Tony as Iron Man as Tony struggled with alcoholism. This was from Iron Man #169 through 216. He also took over the role during a period when Tony Stark was believed to have died between Iron Man #284-290.

Topical References

  • Suzi and Parnell are depicted as flying a stolen Space Shuttle which NASA used on space missions starting in 1984 and ultimately retired in 2011. You could argue that this is a topical reference as these shuttles have been decommissioned. Alternatively, since this shuttle is stolen, one could also assume that they just stole one of the decommissioned shuttles as four of them are still on display. YMMV.

  • When destroying the Ultimo AI, Jake Oh debates sparing some of the AI minds, referencing the movie WALL-E, saying that not all robots are necessarily evil. WALL-E is a 2008 computer animated film by Disney and Pixar about a 29th Century dystopia waste clean-up robot finds new purpose in finding of finding sustainable lifeforms to care for. A reference like this would usually be considered a topical reference. However, now that Disney owns Marvel, this would instead be an instance of brand synergy.

  • Bethany, in turn, references the 1999 film, the Iron Giant about a peaceful alien robot finding friendship and evading a paranoid government in Cold War America. The movie ends with the Iron Giant sacrificing its life to save his friend, a young boy named Hogarth Hughes. This movie was produced by Warner Brothers. As Bethany specifically mentions how sad the ending was, this wouldn’t be necessarily a topical reference unless there is a more contemporary example that matches the same tone as this movie that wouldn’t change her sentiment watching it.

War Machine (vol. 2) #7

War Machine (vol. 2) #7

War Machine (vol. 2) #9

War Machine (vol. 2) #9