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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

War Machine (vol. 2) #9

War Machine (vol. 2) #9

In Basinville National Forest, an elderly couple is having a picknick when their portable television picks up a national broadcast from Morgan Stark, who has just been assimilated into a new Ultimo. He tells the viewers that he is transforming all plant life into metal. This is part of a larger plan to assimilate all the trees on the planet, thereby eliminating the world’s supply of oxygen to wipe out the entire human race. That’s when the couple spots woodland creatures fleeing the spread of the metal infection. They are horrified when a deer is gored on the sharp metal spikes that used to be tall blades of grass. Before they can be its next victim, War Machine (Jim Rhodes) arrives and burns a swath in the foliage to cut off the spread. He tells the couple to get to safety and stay off the grass, promising to stop this before it is too late.[1]

As he flies away, Jim picks up more of Stark’s transmission. He tells the world that the reason he has decided to exterminate the human race is because he had read Rhodes’ mind. This gave him access to the massive database of every atrocity recorded and the global death count. There is a flash of images of murder, and genocide, and other human cruelties displayed on the screen. This has made him believe that humanity is not worth saving.

This is also seen by Norman Osborn, who has suited up as the Iron Patriot and is en route to the scene. He is unimpressed with what’s going on and confers with War Machine’s team to find out the situation. Suzi Endo responds with a sit-rep regarding casualties and the efforts being made by former members of the Avengers West Coast — Ronin (Clint Barton), Mockingbird (Bobbi Morse), Wonder Man (Simon Williams) and Tigra (Greer Grant) — to contain the Ultimo spread.[2] Osborn doesn’t care about that and wants to know why Rhodes is helping Ultimo. Suzi has no idea what he is talking about and is told to check one of her remote fly drones to see what he’s talking about. What she sees is War Machine interfacing with the Ultimo mass that is spreading across the forest. Suzi tells Norman that he is trying to interface with Ultimo in order to separate it from Morgan Stark.

The Iron Patriot is more interested in using violent means to destroy this threat and attacks War Machine from behind, severing his connection. Jim tries to explain to Norman that he is trying to reason with Ultimo, which Osborn thinks is crazy. Seeing that he’s not going to give up the fight, Jim uses his assimilation tech to incorporate a nearby excavator into his armor. This gives him some extra strength in the brawl. However, Norman uses psychology against War Machine. When Jim starts employing the Ultimo eyebeams he incorporated in his systems, Norman opens the mask of his Iron Patriot suit so Jim’s database can scan his kill count. While Osborn has killed 67 people, these deaths were committed when Osborn was not criminally responsible due to insanity, or in the service of his country.[3] Or so it seemed, although Osborn pulls down his face plate, War Machine strikes him with a missile.

Before he can leave the scene, Ronin and Wonder Man arrive, and Clint incapacitates Osborn’s armor with an EMP arrow. However, before he can run through Norman with a Vibranium tipped arrow, War Machine tells him to hold off.[4] With Ultimo going on the offensive, he orders his former Avengers teammates to begin evacuating the area. He then grabs the Iron Patriot and flies toward a massive hand formed out of Ultimo’s liquid metal form. When Suzi tells Jim that force won’t stop its advance, Rhodes says he is going to try and interface with Ultimo and convince it to stop its eradication plot. This time, he is bringing Norman Osborn with him.

When War Machine interfaces with Ultimo, he argues that humanity deserves to continue existing by showing it images of everyone he has saved, and people who saved him as well. Ultimo is flooded with images of Jim’s family, children he has saved, the marriage of Parnell Jacobs and Glenda Sandoval, his allies Iron Man, the Avengers West Coast, and the Crew. this causes Morgan Stark to partially surface from the metallic goop. He tells him that while this has slowed Ultimo down, it has done little to convince it to spare humanity. War Machine tells Morgan that he’s not the one to save the day, but Norman Osborn. Norman finds this ridiculous, but Jim tells him that if Osborn wants to be the big hero, this is his moment to step up to the plate. With humanity teetering on the brink of extinction, Osborn eventually relents and allows himself to interface with Ultimo so he can show it his own humanity. Norman shows it the memory of when Norman first held his son, Harry, after he was born.

This is works and it wipes Ultimo’s programming, leaving it a blank slate. This renders it inert, and it pulls back all of its liquid metal form into a sphere. Freed from his prison, Morgan Stark asks Jim not to tell his cousin, Tony, about his involvement in this fiasco. With the threat now over, Norman Osborn blasts War Machine into unconsciousness so he can claim Ultimo for himself!

Recurring Characters

War Machine, Morgan Stark/Ultimo, Iron Patriot, Suzi Endo, Ronin, Mockingbird, Wonder Man, Tigra, Roberta Rhodes

Continuity Notes

  1. The elderly woman saved by War Machine recalls how Rhodes recently attacked a military base. That was in War Machine (vol. 2) #7.

  2. The heroes present represent the original team of the AWC that was formed in West Coast Avengers #1. They are referred to as “former members” since the team has been disbanded for years, as seen in Avengers West Coast #102.

  3. Here we get some minor details about Norman Osborn’s mental state, as well as some of his most notable kills. The details:

    • Per Amazing Spider-Man #40, Osborn went mad when a formula he created blew up in his face, turning him into the Green Goblin a criminal role he began in Amazing Spider-Man #14. Many years later, it is revealed that this (and many other) misfortunes were do to a pact he made with Mephisto, see Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 5) #72. At the time of this story, Osborn has been treating his insanity (at least enough to appear competent to his superiors) since Thunderbolts #110. He’ll go totally mad again in Siege #1-4.

    • Osborn’s most infamous kill was Gwen Stacy, the then girlfriend of his arch-nemesis Spider-Man (aka Peter Parker) in Amazing Spider-Man #121.

    • Also depicted here is Terri Kidder, a Daily Bugle reporter who was investigating reports of missing Oscorp employees. Osborn strangled her to death as seen in The Pulse #2.

    • Lastly, we see Queen Veranke, the leader of a Skrull invasion of Earth. Osborn was the one that landed the kill shot that signaled the end of the invasion. This made him a hero and prompted the government to make him the Director of National Security, as seen in Secret Invasion #8.

    • There are many more deaths that Norman Osborn is responsible for that aren’t mentioned here. Here are the ones he was responsible for at the time of this story, that we know about time of this writing (October, 2024). As a point of clarity, I am only listing the people Osborn actually killed with his own hands, and not by a proxy, otherwise we’ll be here all day. They include:

      • His first recorded kill was his family dog when he was just a kid, as revealed in Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #14.

      • He killed an undisclosed number of Scirers when he he joined the group, doing so to rise into a controlling rank of their brotherhood, as told in Spider-Man: The Osborn Journals #1.

      • He killed Seward Trainer as part of his clean-up efforts during the Clone Saga, as seen in Spectacular Spider-Man #240.

      • Ben Reilly, the clone of Spider-Man, was killed using Osborn’s Goblin Glider in Spider-Man #75. Although he will be resurrected by his creator, Miles Warren, in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 4) #22.

      • He killed am undisclosed number of Oscorp employees by breaking down their DNA in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #26.

      • He killed at least four more Scrier members in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #97.

      • One of his stray pumpkin bombs once killed the mother of Rocky, a friend of Anya Corazon, aka Arana aka Spider-Girl. As seen in a flashback from Spider-Girl (vol. 2) #2.

      • He also seemingly murdered Mathew DeRoma, a challenger for his leadership of the Scriers in Amazing Spider-Man Annual 2000.

      • An undisclosed number of innocent bystanders in The Pulse #5.

      • He was manipulated into killing a number of Atlantean sleeper agents in Civil War: Front Line #7.

      • He had a direct hand in orchestrating the death of Songbird (Melissa Gold)’s mother, Mimi, in Thunderbolts: Breaking Point #1. He made it look like a drunk driving accident.

      • After being driven insane by a group of rogue telepaths, Osborn killed an undisclosed number of guards at Thunderbolts Mountain, as seen in Thunderbolts #120.

  4. Clint points out that Osborn is more evil than a Roxxon CEO that Jim fed to a polar bear. This happened in Dark Reign: New Nation #1.

Topical References

  • The elderly couple in the forest at the start of this issue are depicted seeing Ultimo/Morgan Stark’s message via an iPod, which were quite common place in 2009 when this comic was originally published. This product has since been discontinued in 2022 and as such its appearance here should be considered topical.

  • Before being interrupted by the Ultimo message, the old man is watching a baseball game on the device. It references a young pitcher with the last name Jackson. This is likely in reference to Edwin Jackson who was a pitcher for the Detroit Tigers in 2009 when he was 25 years old. This should be considered topical since Jackson is no longer a young man and he retired from Major League Baseball in 2022.

  • Ronin states that Jim had fed the Roxxon CEO to polar bears a year prior to this story. The events of Dark Reign: New Nation #1 were published in February, 2009, while this story was published in November of the same year. As such, this measurement of time should be considered topical as it denotes a rough passage of time between publications. Per the Sliding Timescale, these two events would have happened no more than 4 months apart from one another.

  • When Norman Osborn scoffs at Jim’s plan to show Ultimo the good side of humanity, he mockingly asks if this is a Hallmark Card. Hallmark is best known for their greeting cards. Its reference here should be considered topical as this is a real world brand.

War Machine (vol. 2) #8

War Machine (vol. 2) #8

War Machine (vol. 2) #10

War Machine (vol. 2) #10